Group was in a bit of a funny mood during this turn, I guess a sense of the adventure almost being done, making great headway, and being a bit worn out after the last 2 days in game they've had.
Follows:
FIVE HUNDRED THIRTY
(I/C)
“Not a bad idea, Monsieur Salazar,” Wyn noted. He picked up the medallion, flipped it over a few times, and then put it in his bag. “I cen take de medal fer now. Monsieur Offop en I cen take a look at it fer de magic, oui?”
“Yep, got a scroll for that. After we’re done wrapping up this mess of a mess.”
“En Salazar cen just put de trophies in de bag, oui?” Abraxas put the 4 trophies in the bag of holding.
“Excellent,” Abraxas said. He clapped Wyn on the shoulder and addr4essed the group. “Amigos, tenemos una unique situation ahora. El Bastile es mostly empty. El Jardin es el bastion ultimo por los Hombres Malo. Tenemos todos el tiempo que necessitamos. We can take our time, y do things un at un tiempo, o split up y do mas cosas at once. Head removal unit,” He shook the elf and smiled, “... vamonos!"
“Soooo we’re splitting up?” Lyra asked. “I’m alright with that if you guys are on beheading duty. Fineeeee by me.”
Bristling his beard, Kovid stood by Lyra and and gave the Cleric a nudge. “So we are NOT rushing to lose our heads in the garden? We need another trip downstairs to clean the bandages before we rest. I don’t remember, is there a few hobs we have to clear out in that direction?’
Lannis shook his head. "No, we got them all. Still, you go down, clean the bandages. Maybe later we could even relax in the steam room tonight if we want to. Let's enjoy this moment, it only gets worse from here."
“Got it,” the dwarf noted. “We can also move the ballista now to set up for later.”
“One fun thing at a time,” the Magic User recommended. “I’m all for getting some mattresses to the vault and sleeping like people for a change.”
“Let’s go downstairs. Tomatoes, water and bandages are needed,” Brendon suggested.
“Why don’t you help me?” Lannis said.
“Sounds good. Just start first, and I’ll be right there. Promise. Also, if the brass balls aren’t needed we could slinky them down the stairs. Come on you never heard, what goes down stairs alone or in pairs? Better yet let’s hold onto em, they are worth coin.”
Lannis held out his waterskin and addressed, Lyra, "Get us water while you're down there Preakness"
She gave him an arched eyebrow in return, replying, “Sure, give me your water skin. I’ll definitely fill it with water and not sulfur.”
“I got it,” Brendon said, taking the skin. “Everyone, give me your skin, I’ll get them filled.”
“Vamanos people,” Abraxas cajoled the group. “No screwing around, get it done, and get back up to the Vaults, ok?”
The party nodded and moved on. Lannis wondering as the party all split at the end of the hall, “Hey? Who is going to help me drag the mattresses and beds? I am NOT manual labor!”
Lyra, Kovid, and Brendon made their way to the stairs down first, saying “Lannis Sucks” a few times as they passed through the scimitar hallway. They passed the numerous dead hobgoblins and the reek of burnt bodies. They went down the steps and followed it along beyond the locust area, through the caves, and then to the castle proper again. It was a long walk through the area and up to the main floor before they took the primary south hall to the entrance chamber. Brendon went on to the west and the other two made their way north and west eventually coming to the Sulfur area again.
“Got the bandages?” Kovid asked.
“No, don’t you?” She replied.
“Seriously, did you leave them with Abraxas?!”
“Why is it MY job? You knew we were coming.”
He threw his hands in the air and said, “Great. Just great. Why didn’t you take them?”
“Hey! Things happen, ok?! Some things are just implied. Like it was implied that you and I were coming down here, I assumed that the great voice in the sky would just KNOW we were going to take the bandages with us writing OOC take the bandages from the Spaniard every time!”
Kovid took 2 deep breaths and held his hands up. “Ok. Ok. We both screwed up.” He tilted his head and looked around, “What if though, what if, just this one time, we can retcon that we DID, huh?”
Lyra frowned. “What in Aine’s Sunny Tomorrow is a retcon?”
“Retroactive continuity,” Kovid said. “Like, something changes slightly in the past, the make the present more palatable without having to revisit past decisions.”
She frowned. “Sounds like a cheat to me.”
“No, no, hang on. Like…Abraxas was big on this split up, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So what if Abraxas had taken the bandages OUT of the bag of holding when he was loading up the trophies…and placed the bandages in your backpack?”
Lyra scoffed. “That is such bullshit, I would KNOW if there were a set of magical Sclepian Bandages in my backpack…Hey! Here they are!” She pulled the Sclepian Bandages (Dirty – 3), out of her backpack and held them up. “What do you know.”
Kovid turned to the fourth wall and stared out at it. “Yeah. What do you know.”
They each wrapped their cloaks around their face and Lyra donned the Rawhide gloves, and the three of them descended to the Sulfur room again. They walked to the grey bubbling pool and lyra bent low, scrubbing each bandage slowly and with care until one by one, they each flashed white and looked pristine again. Kovid folded the bandages up again as they (>Save vs Poison +4 bonus, multiple attempts, White 12..Yellow 13) left the chamber without issue and climbed back to the main level once again. “Glad that’s done,” Lyra said. ‘Do we wait for Brendon or head back?”
“He didn’t quite say, and he might have finished quicker. I say we head back now and meet up at the Vaults like we all said we were going to do.”
The Cleric nodded. “Good idea. Going off script seems like a stupid idea.” And they proceeded to head back.
Wyn and Abraxas were going to go the long way around when the elf said, “Un moment,” went up to the side hall door, and opened the locked door with the benefit of the uniform. “Forgot I can bypass any door I ‘ave locked wit’ de uniform.”
The two of them walked to the Sanctuary first where the elf and the Fighter nodded to one another and took out the woodcutter’s axe and the Scythe respectively. Then they each took turns hacking down at the Mongrelman’s head until it rolled away with a wet squelch. Abraxas then walked over to it and stomped on it twice to make sure it was misshapen and then whistling , the two friends walked into Mirabellis’ chamber where they lined up the first orc and proceeded to swing.
“So, Senor…”
“Oui?” Wyn grunted as the axe got stuck on a bit of vertebrae. “Whazzup?”
“I get the feeling, we are almost done.”
“Me too. Been a long and crazy year.”
“11 days.”
“Yeah! Zat too!” Wyn kicked the next orc in line and beat at the neck a few times until the head fell free.
Abraxas wiped the blood from his forearms free, took a better grip of his Scythe, and reaped another porcine head. “You ever think what comes after?”
“All zee damn time.”
“I’m serious. Like what happens?”
Wyn had been heel stomping an orc in the mouth for a bit when he stopped and sighed. “I dunno. People will get married. Maybe have kids. Move. Some will stay. Some will go on udder adventures. Some will ‘ave to work and feel dat dey are grinding away at a soul crushing job dat is robbin’ dem of dere vitality and joy de vivre. De future might be bright, might not be, but dey can only ‘ope dat it all works out because dere is no promises now.” He shrugged and then resumed his abuse of the corpses. “But dat is only one future. I ‘ope dat it is all rainbows and unicorns.”
“Si! I heard that in some places, unicorns shit ice cream.”
“Wow!” Wyn smiled. “We’ll have to ask Lannis to taste it first to make sure it’s ok.” The two friends laughed as they beat, stomped, crushed, and beheaded every orc and mongrelman in the room. From there they made their way north through the bedrooms and up to the hall, circled around the Labs, and then up to the Scimitar Hall where a round “Lannis Sucks” followed ending with the Watchtower.
Looking at all the dead burned hobgoblins, Wyn smiled and shouldered his axe. “Let’s get to it. Dey aren’t getting’ anymore deader!”
As they proceeded to hack up and destroy these parties, Abraxas was looking around under bodies and in the corners, frowning as he looked. “What you lookin’ for, Monsieur?”
“Remains of the red barrel.” He looked around. “There is NO way that Senor Limpwrist has the fireball spell, and says it only to make everyone think he is cool.”
“I wouldn’t put it past ‘im to lie about it,” Wyn agreed, “But I tink he really does have it.”
Abraxas shrugged. “If I don’t see it, it isn’t real.” The two of them finished hacking up the bodies here, separating every hobgoblin head from every hobgoblin body. “Satisfied?” The fighter asked.
“Absolutely.” Wyn pointed up, “Shall we go? De dwarf, Cleric, and de Scout all went tru here.”
“Did they?” Abraxas frowned. “I didn’t see them.”
“I tink it’s all assumed. Let’s not be late for de party.” And the two of them headed off to the Vault.
Lannis had walked north to the Adept room where he stopped and frowned. “Ok. This is bullshit.” He complained. “I am supposed to drag mattresses?” He looked around. “This is not fair. My hands are weapons of arcane destruction and ill equipped for grunt work and dragging.” He lifted one of the straw ticks and pulled it slightly. “If I’m doing this, I’m only taking one for me.”
He pulled it off the frame and started to walk it out of the room. “I mean, Brendon? Just left? I was going to make him do his share of the work, and he just left? For water? Bullshit! Everyone was pretty much full.” He made the corner and started heading for the Throne Room. “Yep, I’ll sleep nice and everyone else can just suffer.”
As he was walking he continued to moan and think. “But I am pretty much hurt. What about Lyra? She needs one? Horses sleep standing up, but I need her to heal me, down to 5 hit points here.” He sighed. “Fine, I’ll get a SECOND mattress, but only for Lyra. Fuck everyone else.” He deposited the first one at the secret door in the south part of the Throne room and turned back to get another one.
“Stupid elf didn’t leave me the key though. Thanks for nothing, Wyn. I hope you’ll remember to leave me something when you are seeing me resting comfortably on MY mattress and you are curled up on a tree stump or hanging from a wall or whatever swamp elves do.” He made his way back to the Adept area and dragged a second mattress towards the Throne Room.
“But…Wyn is the only other person here who understands even vaguely what I do and how I do it. It’s hard being a literal genius and if something does go awry, it is nice to have a second to help out.” He sighed again. “Fine, I’ll get one for Wyn as well, but everyone else can suck donkey dick!” He deposited the mattress by the second and went off to get the third.
It was some time later when Lannis was sweaty, tired, and shaking with exhaustion, that he dragged the sixth mattress to the secret door and flopped down. “I mean…pant pant…can’t NOT include Brendon…gasp..huff…not after I got one for the hairy drunk and…huff…the immigrant.” He looked up at the ceiling and groaned. “No one appreciates all the work I do.”
Brendon filled the skins up at the pool without any issue, the sound of FOUS’s in the distance chattering away. “Ferrets,” he muttered. “Nice.” As the skins burbled in the clean water he tilted his head. “Wonder how much xp they are worth?” the Scout smiled. “It’d be nice to go up again. 6th level,” he looked around. “Yep…Siiiiiiixth level.”
Hoisting all the skins on his shoulder, he walked up and out of the cave, making his way slowly back to the stairs. “Dad wasn’t sixth level. Filthy pirate. Was barely an NPC.” He shrugged. “Did he have a THACO? Sounds like an old thing, but that’s actually after this rule set, but in time its decades earlier.” Brendon frowned. “Continuity is all screwed up.”
As he went along, he looked in all the rooms that we passed, shaking bottles, moving barrels, and tapping casks. If came upon a libation, he stopped to sample it. So it took Brendon some time to make his way back to the stairs, the Scout becoming more happy, mellow, and inebriated as he went along. “Some of doze orc beers is buretty good,” he slurred. “But dat wine, Whoo Wee! Does that give you a mule kick to the old Prain Ban…Brain Pan.”
The sound of the locusts had the Scout stop on the stairs until his head cleared a bit. Then holding on to the wall, he took out his own skin and climbed up the steps one at a time stopping often to take a swig or just giggle. It was some time later that he made his way through the Watchtower and then “Lannis Sucks!” he smiled. “Even drunk, that is the BEST passhwrod and I’m gonna use that on all my luggage from now on.”
So it was with a rousing, “Come all ye young fellows that follows the sea. To me! Way hey! Blow the man down!” that Brendon made his way to the Vault at around the same time that everyone else did as well. “I’m a come back with all your water. Give me some time to blow the man down!”
“Gaaaayyyyy!!” Lannis gasped from the mattress he was lying on.
Wyn was unlocking the door and taking stock of his and Abraxas state of clothes. “I tink we finish de job dat Lannis did 80 percent of an den mebbe we get a bath, decide who gets de bandages, and den sleep to be ready for tomorrow, Oui?”
Time now is Day 11, 7:45 PM
(OOC)
Alright! Everything that wanted to be done, is done. What’s the last to do before resting? Detect Magic Medallion? Bath? Anything else?(everyone change your water to 4)
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