FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY EIGHT
(I/C)
Lannis looks around the large empty place he felt himself currently standing in, unsure of anything, only feeling a growing pressure on him from somewhere and a slowly growing sense of fading away. “Where am I?"
"This is the inside of your head, Dickweed,” a voiced sounded from near him. The voice sounded just like his own, but with a harshness to it. “Hey did you put those gloves on because they make you look like the handjob queen of Specularum or was that just a bonus?"
"My head?” he asked with a groan. “I always assumed it would be more...full. Wait,” he blinked hard and whirled around, “who said that?" While looking for the source of the voice, his eyes fell to a stuffed one foot tall monkey dressed like him.
It snapped its fingers and replied, "I did, Flat cap! Lannisbone!” The monkey preened and glanced down at Lannis’ feet, “Hey, I bet your orc name would be Runs In Heels." Lannisbone hiked up his robe to reveal a pair of very high platform stiletto stripper shoes and then procceeded to run around Lannis. "Besides”, it continued while running, “it ain't empty. Right over there are your horse jokes, your magical knowledge, and your good ideas!" It pointed in turn to a large warehouse, a few soggy boxes, and a single piece of paper, currently engulfed in flames.
"What, but, why are you here?” Lannis asked, “Who created you?"
"Created me?” Lannisbone smirked, “You did, Lame brain! Or the other way around. Who's keeping track anymore? Either I'm the real you, or you're the real me!” He jumped on Lannis' shoulders and continued, “Either way, when those farm animals you do not mutually consider to be friends get around to healing your dead weight ass, only one of us gets a ticket out and…spoiler alert… it won't be you Houdini!" It added a flourish and seemed to crack Lannis' head open to hock a loogie in.
Lannis tilted his head to one side and smacked it, causing the spittle to drain out his ear. "One of us? Well I'd prefer if it was me!"
"No chance, Bubble yum, I'm getting my body back; and some panty waist wizard isn't going to stop me."
"Panty waist?” Lannis looked down at Lannisbone and shook his head, “You just insulted yourself!"
"Exactly!” It preened, “Because I'm awesome, and that's why I'm going back and you're not!"
"We shall see about that!"
"Hey dildo what's that?!" Lannis turns to look but the last sensation he had was the feeling of Lannisbone jumping on his back, and the sound of large cymbals crashing around his ears, before everything went black again.
Meanwhile, outside in the real world, Brendon was throwing bricks and blocks all over (Dig: 1d6+Str. Red 5+4=9 pts), crashing them about like cymbals as they bounced around. “You’re such a fucking pain in the ass,” he grumbled as he revealed more and more of the broken and unmoving Magic User. “Hey. Hey!” he called, “I’ve got him!” He reached down and dragged Lannis out the rest of the way, bringing him to the floor and laying him out. He proceeded to root through his bag, looking for a healing potion.
Wyn meanwhile kept his grip on the Rust Monster, ignoring the slashes and pokes, and shot up higher and higher, passing through the skylight and into the air above the castle itself. “Wheee!”
"Lady Lyra,” Kovid said, kicking at the Rust Monster in front of him, and tossing it his mining pick, hoping to get back far enough. “I have a bad feeling about this! What's going on?!" (Distracted by pick? 1-3. Red/Black 2 – yes!) The insectoid did stop, scent the pick, and then ran its antennae over it, rusting out the head immediately. It then proceeded to suck up the rusted metal, chewing noisily as it ate the pick, one stray eye tracking the dwarf and cleric as they skipped back. Abraxas meanwhile had double timed it, running back to Brendon and the fallen Lannis.
“Errrr, I don’t really have an idea. Let me ask Aine.” Lyra lifted her head high, loading up a stone and spinning it up, “Hey Aine? We have any idea what kind of bullshit this is?” She let it soar (>+4 to hit, +1 bless, White 13), the rock slapping against the eating monster and spoiling its meal (1d3 Damage, White 4:2 Damage!). It squealed in her direction and sucked down another flaking chunk of metal. She glanced at the dead dragon and got a jolt from her holy symbol. “I suggest maybe we keep away from it for now.”
"SeñorLaziness, noeseltiempoporunasiesta!” Abraxas fired (>+5 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 11), crossbow bolt smacking into the Rust Monster (1d8 Damage, Blue 3, KD? Black 4 – no), making it irate and causing it to start to approach the party again. Chuckling, he reached into his pack and handed Brendon a healing potion, pointing to the wizard. “Arriba, arriba! Bebesesepotion!”
“See?” Brendon asked, tilting the vial down Lannis’ throat, “I could have shanked him but a lawful good person would do exactly what I just did!”
Meanwhile from 50’ above Halgafar’s Castle, Wyn sighted a hard section of the roof and let the Rust Monster he was carrying go, watching it fall, screaming as it did so (5d6 Falling: 6,3,2,2,1: 14 Damage) before it impacted the hard stones and bounced up almost 5’ in height, spinning around, before hitting again and rolling to a stop. It seemed hurt, badly, stunned, and was moving slowly, trying to right itself. “He…he,” Wyn chuckled as he flew back down, passing through the Skylight and reentering the Castle again.
Lannis shuddered (Healing Potion 1d6: Pink 5 – Welcome back to the land of the living – up to 3 hp) and took a short breath before doubling over coughing again, spewing dust and blood, his lungs refilling, the rib bones that had punctured it slid out and the soft tissue closed up again. He waved a hand and looked around with blurry eyes. “Gruuuhwaaah?”
Brendon gave him a clap on the back and held him up in a seated position. “Before you ask me if I took anything of yours,” he said very slowly, “No! No I didn’t, you’re fucking welcome.”
Kovid drank his own potion (Extra Healing 2d6: Yellow 4+6=10, Heal 10!), the dwarf sighing with relief.
Spinning his Crossbow, Abraxas looked over the room and smiled. “Tenemosmastrabajohacer. Andaleamigos!"
Time now is Day 13, 8:29 AM
(OOC)
Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!
Giant Strength (Brendon): 99 Minutes
Haste (Abraxas): 89 Minutes
Invulnerability (Lyra): 79 Minutes
Giant Growth (Kovid): 69 Minutes
Fly (Wyn): 51 Minutes
Bless: 13 Minutes
Slowed (Wyn): 9 Minutes
Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): 6 Minutes
Protection Dragons: 2 Minutes
Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 2 more on the “4’s”
Bottom of Round 6 – 1 Rust Monster badly hurt trapped on roof, other in room, running at the party. You guys go – Last minute before fecal matter strikes oscillation device.
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