This site is an online accumulation of the Post Reports for my current ongoing D&D Campaign - for anyone who might be interested in reading them.

Sunday, October 31, 2021

PBEM - Episode 579. Wrapping it up.

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY NINE

(I/C)

Lannis took a deep breath and frowned, “So barring anything else that resembles something NOT funny from the Creole Cretin, I think it’s time to get some sleep. I was going to look for a bedroom that isn't destroyed somewhere…” He paused, looking around the room as if waiting.

His fishing paid off as the party replied after a short pause. Kovid began it, “Stick together Big Brain. Wouldn’t want you to get lost again so close to our leaving.”

“I’m all for staying together while we’re here,” Brendon offered. “There’s no point in taking anything for granted.”

“While dat suggestion is trés temptin’, Monsieur Offop, dere still be a few dead bodies in dis place dat are unaccounted for… includin’ Mira’s en ‘er cat’s,” Wyn gave an absent scratch and kicked off his boots. “I’d feel betta stickin togedder till we be far far from dis castle en it’s necromatic tendencies.” He gave the wizard a side glance, “Iffin y’all tink Wyn be paranoid, ye be free to sleep elsewhere. I gonna stay in dis locked vault hallway… but I’m gonna take a pillow dis time.”

Lyra waved her hands out the door and towards the hall, “Alright Lannis, you head off to bed now and you can lick your fucking wounds until they close.”

Finally Abraxas shook his head and sighed. “Together, pienso. No need a split up ahora."

“Wow! I get it, I get it.” He plopped himself down on his bed. “And did you call me a penis?!”

“Give it a rest, please.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” The Magic User laid down and let out a deep bubbling breath. “Let’s get some sleep. I suggest you all do the same. Got a long day ahead of us, but uh...adequate job, really. I'd give you all six and half disco swords out of ten jizz mops."

Lyra had the bandages out and was looking to take care of Kovid, Brendon, and Lannis’ wounds. As she was wrapping the Sclepian Bandages in place, Wyn asked, “Priestess, do ye ‘ave anymore healin spells? Or are ye tapped out fer de day?”

“I’m empty, Wyn,” She replied. “We’ll all have to tough it out to tomorrow.

“Tres bien.”

And with that the party fell asleep. We had a great night’s rest with no issues, no problems, and nothing to concern us. When we awoke the next day bright and early, it was with glad hearts and eager eyes. Mutterings of “going home” echoed around the room as we broke out fast. Candella arranged fresh water for everyone, and then while some of us were praying and studying, made sure that our water skins were refilled and ready. We took a look out the windows and saw only a wisp of the Rainbow ward, the goblin Matron letting us know it would probably be gone, “in 2 hours, tops.”

(Lannis heal 4, Lyra heal 4, Wyn heal 2, Abraxas heal 4, Brendon heal 6, Kovid heal 10)

After we ate, Wyn was looking over the treasure and said, “Wyn would be wanting to take de sapphires en fire agates, if’n dat ok.” The party nodded, no one dissenting. “Jus’ take it outta my shar o de coin when we get back. For de future, it’ll lighten my load a bit radder dem havin ta carry so much gold around!”

Once we had done all we could, Lyra washing the bandages ONE last time here (no place to wash them on the road! Needs a caustic solution to magically clean them), we joined Candella by the main gate, the Goblin Matron giving everyone a last hug. “I can’t thank you all enough for what you’ve done. Wherever you go, whatever you do, rest assured that the people of the Dawnlands and the Ispan-to-be will know of you and your deeds. May the blessing of the four goddesses and whoever you adore as well, guide you safely home.”


We thanked her and then turned to the faint shimmering of the Rainbow Ward and waited. And we could then see it grow fainter and finally roll up from the ground to the sky before winking out of existence. We left Halgafar’s Castle and made our way through Acreage with surprising ease. The dissimilar tribes and thralls of the dragon had been released to their own devices after Corfard’s death, some of them leaving the area, and others attacking clans that they would normally be at odds with.

The chaos made it easy for the party to slip through the elven city and make it to the Dawnlands beyond. With shoulder’s heavy and faces set, we trudged on, our packs heavy and hearts light, hoping to make it to civilization in the next six days.

Time now is Day 14, 9:00 AM

(OOC)

6 Days to Civilization, 4 more beyond that to Specularum. I’ll take care of any WMC for the next post. Let me know if the plan is to hide from or face any foe we run across. Also, will anyone hunt on the way? It was Wyn and Lyra on the trip out (bow and sling). It might stretch out food stuffs but could also slow you guys down or trigger a fight. I’ll carry the next post over the 6 days until we get to the town of Kelvin’s Edge. Lyra, save the bandages for the next day or use them for the last time until we get a good chance to clean them again? You have 4 days of water on you, so some foraging will come into play.

Friday, October 29, 2021

PBEM - Episode 578. Wrapping it up.

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY EIGHT

(I/C)

Getting out of the tub, Abraxas jogged over to the towels and dried himself off. He looked over the mass of gear they had acquired and sighed. "Amigos, es ese todos los treasures? Let's take mas agua antes de we leave. Thank you Candella for everything,” he bowed to the goblin matron.

“It was and is my pleasure, Master Salazar.” She smiled as she strode the hall. Let me come with you. The Ispan’s Vault would be a good place to leave anything you might not want to take with you. Rest assured, no one will get in there while I’m about.”

“Si! Necessitamos estar heading back. Gracias por todos sus ayuda.”

“Let’s grab a mattress for Candella,” Brendon suggested, “and finally get one good sleep in before we leave.”

“While I’m sure she appreciate de gesture, du Lac, I do not tink Candella be trapped in dat room anymore. She can roam free and sleep where she wants. Not need to keep 'er in de bathing room, oui?”

“Correct,” she smiled warmly.

As they were passing the former Adept chamber, door was open, Lannis had removed the cat book and was staring at it briefly. "No sense taking everything guys, leave more room for gold.” His gaze shifted over to Brendon. “I gotta say, this whole thing has almost been palatable." He then mouthed a quick spell and a spray of burning sparks blew out from his hand and set the book on fire. As Brendon was staring at him, the Scout unsure of what to say, Lannis made sure the cat book was seriously ablaze before he tossed it into the fire scarred chamber and then closed the door behind it. 

“Sometimes it’s the little joys that make your life worth living, Magister Offop?” Candella asked.

“Yep. And it tastes sweet, too.” He looked the Scout up and down and then the dwarf and muttered, “No one was going to say anything? Right? No, of course not. Let’s get going while the going gets good.”

“You’re free to do what you want, my dude,” Lyra said with a chuckle. “I mean - Candella is the boss. Make sure you stay nice to her.” 

Once they were in the Throne Room and then the Vault, the party started going through all their equipment, making suggestions, tossing out what wasn’t going to be needed, and making trades. 

“Wyn, take these arrows you’re better shot with them than me.”

“Merci fer de arrows, dough. Ye should 'old on to at least 2 just in cases.” The elf took 2, handing 2 back to Brendon. “Not sure what gonna happen when we get outside dere walls tomorrow.”

“Senora Leyryara, quieres ese Honey y ese Cinnamon? Possiblimente, limpiamos los Ban-dah-jes antes de we leave tambien, eh? Amigos, ese Oil es up for grabs as well. Let's pile up los treasures y oro y plata en el Bag of Holding y be on our way, si?"

“Anything involving food, I’ll gladly take,” Lyra said. “I plan on getting a hundred horses and maybe a bee hive or two. I’ll take these Vanilla Beans, just deduct them from my share of the treasure.”

Looking the gear over, Wyn suggested, “We gonna clean de bandages before restin? I remember a voice in de sky mentionin' dat we should wait till afta de dragon fight. Dough maybe Wyn just lost his mind like Offop.”

“Doubt it,” Lannis chided.

“Den we should wash dem before we leave 'ere too.”

“I can use some healing,” Kovid nodded, “Feels like my skin doesn’t fit me anymore. I'm ready to leave this poorly designed elven excuse for a castle and never look back, right Big Brain?"

“Oh, I don’t know. I could imagine us getting the band back together again, should we need to.”

“Says you,” the Scout laughed, “This has been the longest two weeks ever.”

Lannis ignored him, humming away. He took 2 dragon teeth from the pile and held them up. “For me, deduct from my share.”

“I’ll go down to the sulfur room,” Lyra said. She hoisted her shield, “Wyn, this shield is yours, right? You want it? It’s rightfully yours.”

“Merci, prêtresse! I would not 'ave asked fer it, but I will take de shield... but why don't ye 'old onto it till we get back to town so ye don't 'ave to carry de heavier shield all de way back to town, oui?”

“Works for me.” She looked over at the Manastone. “Kovid, want to come?”

“Sure can,” the dwarf said getting up. He picked up the two dragon hearts. “I’d like to drop these in the pool as well.”

Abraxas held up the master/slave jewelry. “If you are going, make a deposit, por favor.”

So the Cleric and dwarf left, heading over to the Alchemy Lab first where she went to the Iron Statue and placed the manastone back in the shield slot again. It connected with a purple flash of sparks and she could feel the connection again. “You’ve been the best,” she said. “And I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done.” She patted it on the shoulder. “Go and have a good and save life.” The Statue had a purple glow coming from its helm and she could feel just a sense of completion and good will for what she did. Wiping a tear she turned and the two of them left, Kovid supporting her decision as they made their way eventually to the Sulfur chamber.

Once there, they donned gloves, washed the bandages again, and then she pushed the two dragon hearts deep into the burbling pool, followed by the jewelry – waiting until satisfied they had been taken care of. “Rest in Hel,” she muttered, “You murderous dragon bitches.” They left and headed eventually back upstairs.

Brendon had picked up the Ceremonial Sword he had been carrying as well as one of the Dragon’s horns. “I’ll take these if it’s ok,” he said. “Just take them from my share of the treasure.”

“Senor Bigdong, that is a grande treasure. You sure?”

Brendon held it up to the light and smiled. “Yep. Yep indeed.”

They continued to adjust their inventory and move things around, Candella loading items into the Vault and removing treasures, laying them out, the Goblin Matron swiftly stacking and organizing the coins as need be, making the task go that much faster.

“Ok,” Lannis said, after Lyra and Kovid returned. “We know we are 4 days from the nearest town, and we’re going to leave tomorrow. We have a bit of the Ispan’s magic elf food still remaining but Abraxas and I’ve been talking and we are figuring that if we load up a bit, and risk taking a bit longer, we could carry MORE treasure back with us.”

“We have the Bag of Holding,” Lyra noted. “Shouldn’t that carry it all.”

“Not even close. Maybe a third at best would fit in there.” He paused and continued. “So we figure out what items we personally want: Lyra, I, and … well, you know, three of us have already picked. Then everything gets loaded up and we all grab what gold we can until just before we get TOO loaded down, and that’s our target. It should slow us up, maybe 6 days out, but we have enough food.”

“Sounds good.” Wyn had jettisoned a bit more and then handed over the Ispan’s Uniform and some of the other castle specific items to Candella. “Dere will be more useful to someone else in de future... dough I tought I made de suit look good, oui?”

“Indeed you did, young Master elf. You would have made Halgafar proud indeed.”

“Monsieur Offop, can I borrow de spellbook to copy Mirror Image?”

“Don’t have it.”

“Oh! Mirabellis den?”

“Ahem..Don’t have it there either.”

“OH!! Hmmm, den Locate Object?”

“Sure, that we still have.”

“Bien!”

The party finished eating and loading up, Abraxas sliding everything unclaimed into the bag of holding (668 CW of items valued at 7,090 gold pieces). Then the group shoved handfuls of gold in to the bag, making it bulge more and more until the last coins started to slide free. Candella had been keeping count, “Another 9,332 gold pieces in that bag.”

The group then proceeded to fill their packs, sacks, and anything else they could until there were feeling loaded..but NOT overloaded (up to the 3rd iteration of Carrying capacity). Silver and copper were removed, more items dumped aside. But at the end, Candella gave the count of, “And now you are all carrying an additional 7,454 gold pieces as well!”

Lannis thought and then said, “That’s about 300 copper, 7,500 silver or so, and a notch over 6,000 gold that we just can’t carry back.”

“In the universe of over 33,000 gold piece value of treasure, you have over 25,000 worth that is making the trip back.”

“Oui, dat is over 4,300 gold piece value in treasure for each of us, less wot people ‘ave already picked as dere own.”

Kovid yawned. “Sounds great. More than enough for what I plan on doing with mine. And we have a reward for when we get back as well. Let’s get some healing, some sleep, and get moving on tomorrow. Lyra? Any chance I can get a bandage tonight?”

Time now is Day 13, 7:45 PM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Ok. Food has been removed for tonight. There is 37 days of elven rations that you guys are carrying back between Abraxas, Kovid, and Brendon – barring any issues, enough to get you guys to civilization…and then you can go another 3 days to Specularum. Let me know what the plan is for tonight, no watch needed. Lyra, who gets the healing? Current totals: Lan 3/13, Lyra 10/30, Wyn 10/18, Abr 17/35, Brend 6/17, Kov 1/48. I’ll resend sheets as well and the treasure list – let me know if your character wants anything on it. Otherwise assume it’ll be sold for coin value.

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

PBEM - Episode 577. Wrapping it up.

There is much in the D&D school of thought to taking everything that isn't nailed down, as if some esoteric recluse somewhere will want the fungus or stray bit of weird shit you carved off a dead thing and will pay in top platinum for it. It's also unreasonable. There was LOTS of discussion on taking or not taking and should we or shouldn't we, but the group did manage to come together and the decision was to leave Castle specific things here for no need and goodwill, and to jettison low value items. We are going to be moving at 1/2 speed at best, and that's still leaving lots of stuff behind.

Follows:

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY SEVEN

As they were walking, Lyra asked, “So, are we giving anything to Candella? I reckon we owe it to her considering we killed or drove away everyone who lived in the castle.” She sniffed her underarms and frowned at the charred look of her clothes and armor. “Might be the time to do it, especially since we plan to make a good bye trip in the morning.” 

"She seems kind enough, what do we give her?” Lannis asked, “The keys? Some coin? I don't have much worth giving."

“Let’s go take some baths and chat wit Candella,” Wyn advised, hands up, “before we talk about what we be givin away.”

Lyra nodded. “I’m just excited that tomorrow we’re finally leaving this giant shithole of a hell-castle. Fuck dragons. Fuck hobgoblins. I plan on retiring with 100 horses.”

"Amigos, no podemos take todos los treasures tenemos ganar.” Abraxas shook his backpack heavily. “We should split up que estamos taking y que podemos carry y offer que es left over a Candelabra. We should do that before a bath, yo creo. Tenemos weapons, oro, armor, magic items, gems, potions, y mas a go through before we rest. Hacemos que y then we bathe, eat, drink, y sleep, si?"

“We just have so much, and truthfully, some of it is just stuff that works or applies to here.” The Scout still looked left and right down the crosshalls, even though the place was empty. “Everyone that we let go left with something after a trade or gift. Money, weapons, a hope for a future…” Lannis was making a face as Brendon spoke, but the scout didn’t catch it as he was leading the group north to the Baths. “You know as well as I do that we all left a piece of us here, some more than others.” He clapped Kovid on the shoulder and offered the dwarf a soft smile. “We should leave Candella with a few items more than just the walls.” 

“She be part of de castle. Literally.” The elf shrugged, head cocking. “So leavin stuff behind “for her” might make ye feel good, but it could be a complete waste since she may not be able to leave the castle at all.”

“I’m just saying, if the robe and scepter will help Candella we should leave it. She won’t be safe after the walls fall.”

“Wow! I can’t wait to get clean, huh guys?” Lannis spoke loudly, interrupting Brendon. “Yep. Let’s get in there!”

“You’re being petulant, Lannis…”

“Whoo hoo! Yippie kai ya and all that.”

“Whatever.”

“Knock knock! Dirty adventurers looking to reward ourselves, can we come in?” Lannis asked, rapping on the bath door with the back of his hand.

The bath door opened and Candella was there, beckoning the party in. “Please. Come,” She said with a smile. There were a few more candles around the room and it seemed brighter. Plus, something was different about her. It was hard to define, but she seemed just less worn down. “I would hate to presume that things have gone well, but, these old bones just know that things have gone well.”

The party was beaming with happiness, quickly divesting themselves of their gear as well as filthy clothes. She had already gotten the tub filled and the party wasted little time in taking turns dunking themselves and getting clean, while wine flowed and laughter followed.

It was when the goblin Matron pulled out a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, offering one to each of the party members that Kovid took one hesitantly, sniffed it, and then crammed the whole thing into his mouth with a smile. “Ahhh. Now THAT’S a cookie.” He gave Candella a foot to head once over and then asked, “Candella, you’re not really a gob are you? Gobs don’t act like you do, at least not all the ones that have tried to kill me over the years.”

“Aye,” Wyn asked, noting that there was also a ewer of chilled milk here, pouring himself a glass and dunking his cookie within. “Were ye a free goblin before being bonded to de castle? Or is dis form you have sometin dat was created by Ispan magics?”

“Why, Master Manslayer,” she effected a stance of false modesty, “do you not believe your own eyes and ears?” She then turned to the elf and added, “My form is what my form is.” She sighed a bit. “For the majority of my existence, I appeared quite different, let me tell you. Tall, willowy, lithe, skin like spilled milk, hair like sunshine, a voice that could sweeten honey.”

“What happened?” Lyra asked.

“My form is that of the subjects that the ruler of Halgafar’s Castle presides over. What better way to remind the lord of the charges he had to govern and protect, that to be constantly reminded at all times.” She idly traced one hand in the water. “When this castle was usurped by Corfard and assumed mastery over it and Acreage, my countenance did change to be as I appear now.”

“But Corfard is deceased,” Lannis offered. “When you die, twice, and pretty brutally I might add, why have you not changed to Kate Beckinsale DeLaElfHotness again?”

“There isn’t a new ruler here as of yet,” She said with a smile. She then pointed to Wyn’s bag, “And holding the Crown Jewels does not make you ruler, Ispan, King, or overlord either. There is a majesty involved that would have to come from the next Ispan or a being capable of presenting such an obvious might.” She scowled, “As Corfard’s presence so awfully showed.”

“What do ye think will ‘appen to dis place once de ward is down?” Wyn asked, “Are dere heirs to de Ispan heirs dat will try en come back ‘ere?”

Candella smiled. “Of course. The Ispan has relations, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and the like. And Lolth of guiding Arik, Moira, and Dingar at this moment to whoever is the next best choice in line. I can feel it, and the castle is bathed in the glory of the 4 goddesses and know that in due time, they will return with the next Ispan, who will come and with much work ahead of them, help make things right here once again.” He looked east. “Remember, the Dawnlands are the shield that guard the western realms of Karamiekos from the forces of Jector.”

Brendon grunted and looked at Wyn’s pack. The elf sighed and then asked, “We found a cloak en scepter in de vault. Do ye know if dere be any importance wit dem related to dis castle? Or are dey just symbolic?”

She looked over at Lannis. “Is his hat important or just symbolic?” She glanced at Lyra, “Is her holy Symbol the same?” She looked then at Kovid’s beard, “Or young Manslayer’s facial hair? Is it important or just symbolic? The answer is both and none. They are devices of office that the rightful Ispan would use to show and display his power, help project his or her strength and majesty, and further assert his capability to rule and rule well.”

Candella waved her hands and then closed them into fists. “If they were not there, Lannis would still be a magister, Lyra still a priestess, and Kovid still a dwarf. But they would also be lacking in some manner.” She shrugged. “I leave it to you to decide, I have never told you directly or not directly what to do, only offered an old woman’s advice where it would and could do some good.” She smiled, “IF you want to take it with you, then do so. You’ll be thanked, and the items will be either displayed in some nobleman’s hall or locked away in some moulding tower. But the day will come when the new Ispan will arrive and look for them and will eventually track down where they went, and who brought them there.”

Wyn chuckled. “I unnerstand.” He sluiced some fresh water over his head and sighed contentedly. “So, Candella… not gonna mince words at dis point. Are ye basically stuck here? Or could ye leave?”

“I could always leave this chamber, but Corfard’s presence meant that I would be hurt…bad..and often. So I found myself abrogating other areas of the Castle and reducing my presence to the most stringent definition of where I could hold the most sway. And that was here. So now? No, the entire castle is my domain once again, including the grounds beyond the walls. And from what I have been able to suss out, there is much to do and much I need to make done.”

“Could you close the gates? Lock them?”

Candella shrugged. “Without the Dragon? Yes, yes I can. On your leaving, I will walk you to the gates, wish you the best of luck, and then close the portcullis and lock the gates behind you. Mind you, it will not stop a determined individual who might wish to scale the walls and enter through the broken skylights, but they will find the Ispan’s castle uninviting to them. Alternating blasts of cold and heat, moistened air to confound torches and candles, doors that jam, steps that are wet and treacherous, and whatever host of troubles I can concoct to thwart their tramping around these halls. There is much to make right and it will take years to do so, but I can keep the Castle whole and undisturbed until the new Ispan arrives.” She looked the group over and smiled, “Including anything you think you might wish to leave for that person.”

Kovid nodded, looking over all his gear. “Anyway, thanks for the bath. With Corfard dead, twice over, I guess the castle is all yours, or all… you… again. I’m not clear on how all the hocus works, but you get my meaning. As for me, when we leave I intend to set up the ale house I’ve been dreaming about. Now that I’ve had a glimpse of the ale halls of Valhalla, I have some construction inspiration to aspire to…. Not sure why I told you all this, but we've appreciated the help you've given along the way. It's one of the reasons we are all still standing.”

“Happy to help,” she said. There was a thump at the door and she opened it, showing that a cask of wine was there as well as a haunch of beef that had been braised and cooked somehow. “Ah. Just checking. Seems I have some control over the kitchen, butchers, and larder again.” She looked the party over. “Well? I cooked it? Who’s hungry? There isn’t much left, but more than enough for tonight and tomorrow easily.”

The group laughed as the food was handed out, watching at the matronly goblin woman stepped awkwardly into the hall and took a deep breath, feeling the stones with an almost reverent touch. She wiped a tear aside and smiled at the party as she took a few hesitant steps away before heading back, bringing the food and drink with her.

They had all their gear out at this time, taking advantage of whatever laundering they could do, Lyra and Kovid working on small repairs and stitching on their clothes and armor. Abraxas was sharpening daggers and knives. And Brendon was walking around with a mug of wine, drinking it down and singing off key any chanty or song that came to mind. At one point, Abraxas climbed into the tub and winked at Candella, lying back in the water and staying under the surface for over ten minutes with no ill effects, thanks to Lannis’ spell. “You’re welcome!” he shouted at the submerged fighter, getting a thumbs up through the tub’s surface in reply.

Time now is Day 13, 12:00 Noon

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Ok! Questions answered. I will send everyone’s sheet as well. Go through it, figure out what you want to purge from your sheet for now.

Anything in “yellow” will be part of the “treasure” listing – those items that have a monetary value, and would be considered divisible for treasure purposes. I suggest that if there is something that someone specifically wants for their character, let me know in the next write up and that would be part of your share, with the corresponding coin value being removed from your total (ex: Someone wants the Dragon teeth necklace @ 75 crowns and each person’s share is 5,000 crowns – you would get the necklace and 4,925 crowns). Again ,assuming there isn’t another person wanting the same item – which can be discussed in chat, discord, or email. Good luck We are in the denouement at this point. There is enough food if the party moves at least at loaded speed (60’/20’) to get to the nearest town which is 4 days away (at lightly loaded speed – 90’/30’). Moving loaded speed means it will take us 6 days to get there. And moving overloaded (30’/10’) will mean 8 days to get there. So keep that in mind when figuring out what we are taking and what we are leaving here – either as detritus, gear for Candella/next Ispan, or treasure we truly don’t need to carry. Abraxas’ Bag of Holding holds 10,000 c/w but registers at 200 c/w on him.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

PBEM - Episode 576. Wrapping it up.

The group has considerably more treasure than they could possible leave with. And there are some things that some of the group want from the hoard. So it's time to figure out what comes, and what doesn't. This should take a few emails back and forth!

Follows:

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY SIX

(I/C)

Taking a deep breath, the elf released it and said, “Wyn will hold onto de crown fee de time bein’. Iffin de KEYS for de vault hurt non-elves, I hate to see what de crown down to ye all.” Placing the scepter and crown in the middle of the raiment, Wyn folded it all together and put the entire thing in his backpack. “Offop, we should check out de robe en scepter wit a detect magic tomorrow morning. Don’t think using eidder of dem yet ees a good idea without knowing more info.” He looked over at Brendon and Abraxas who were cutting and hacking at Corfard’s dead body. “Was deer anytin in yer books about dese items? Do we need dem to properly put up and take down de rainbow ward? It’d be nice if Wyn’s head didn’t have to feel like it was gonna explode from dat magical dodecahedron.”

Raising an eyebrow, Lannis laughed out loud, long and deep until it became awkward. "Oogedy boogedy, showey the magic! Holy crap, it's all magic! Who could have foreseen this? My liege, I am humbled by your council.”

“…” Wyn waited for Lannis to take a breath before saying, “In case ye don’t realize did yet, Wyn has no interest in being de king of anytin. I just want to get dis venture done so we can move on. Dis place too far from de swamp anyways.” He hoisted his pack, “We probly gonna need dis get de dodecahedron… but let’s worry about dat later today.”

Lowering his prybar from working out for of Corfard’s larger scales, Brendon waved one to the dwarf. “Lilman you should grab some scales to make fancy armor. No one deserves it more than you.”

Koivd nodded, one hand waving absently. “Let me know if you need me to carry anything, otherwise I’m going to take a time out.” He sat down on the dragon’s tail and rested, free hand keeping his balance, other hand holding his Theystran Hammer wearily. “Still recovering from being immolated.” His voice dropped and he whispered, “Thor’s nuts I can still almost taste that ale!”

“Cuando estamos finito con todo ese,” Abraxas continued to chop with the axe, one foot braced in the dragon’s mouth, keeping the jaws open, hacking at Corfard’s jaw. “Podemos dormir. Some sleep y *chop* sueños bueno would be nice. Some *chop* rations de Ispan would be el mejor ahora.”

“Who wants to pick up de old dragon bitch’s heart?” Wyn asked, looking inside the vault, “Dat gotta be wort some gold.”

Lannis was looking the endeavor over, rubbing his chin in thought. “I would like some dragon blood, maybe a heart or three, but I don't have anything to put it in. Think we could just scoop it into the bag of holding, ya know, keep it fresh?" 

“Can the bag of holding preserve the dragon bits?” Lyra asked, “If not we can always bring it downstairs to the butchers ice room.”

“Wyn got no interest in de dragon’s blood. I ain’t got de smarts get alchemy, en don’t want to be carrying it around iffin I don’t ‘ave ta.”

Abraxas and Lannis dumped out the 4 tainted invisibility potions and acter making sure the vials were clear, the Magic User went about filling them up with brood as close to the dragon’s heart as he could get. The group had harvest both horns, about 15 large teeth, 40 scales. And towards the end, Abraxas had finished hacking out the beast’s heart. “Que ahora amigos?” He pulled it free and held it up, covered in hot gore. “Come aqui corazon. Si, si. What are we doing con ese corazons? Corfnard y sus madre's corazons? Destroy them con fuerza de los Dios?”

“Where to now, mes amis?” Wyn asked.

“Oh! Una cosa mas!" The fighter ran to Corfard’s head and scooped out both of the dragon’s eyes, making the rest of the group a bit ill. "Los ojos por los ojos."

“You really need to talk to someone at some point, Pointbreak,” Lannis observed. He looked around and shrugged. “We’re covered in char, burn, blood, guts, plant residue, and misery. I’d say a visit to the baths, get our stuff clean, maybe then hole up and drink and eat. And then we leave tomorrow.”

Brendon nodded, hoisting his pack high as well. “About that, what if we gave the cloak and scepter to the only person that is truly from this place. We have more than we need and Candella has put up with so much loss and pain.” He looked around. “Also, the medusa and the gargoyle, didn’t they say they were on their way to find the next in line for the Ispan’s throne? We can take the crown back to Specularum because we took the commission to do so, and doing so is both lawful and good, and we all know, I am that if nothing else. But I’d say leaving the other stations of office with the enchanted avatar and aspect of Halgafar’s Castle for the next royal elven dude might be the best play.”

The group was mulling it over as they left the vault room behind. They noted that the plants in the garden, the archer bushes, were all wilted and shriveled. And the Castle itself was just eerily quiet as they made their way north to the Baths. 

Time now is Day 13, 10:30 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

At baths. Let me know what the plan is with Brendon’s suggestion. Clean up and chat with Candella next turn and then cast of ale and eat and dine and make merry with the castle’s aspect – followed up by sleep? I’ll produce the next listing of what we have and how we can carry it all back. I assume the group will then discuss what items they want specifically for themselves and I’ll take care of the back and forth value so everyone will get a fair share.

Bag of holding is a 10k limit, so keep it in mind – anything more than that is normal carry. That’s for the end of the next post.

Monday, October 25, 2021

PBEM - Episode 575. Victory

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY FIVE

(I/C)

"Whoa... Ale! Where's my ale?” Kovid looked around, slapping the floor, face drawn and saddened. “Oh Lady Lyra, I must be back. Thank you. I was just about to quench my thirst...” He touched his lips and sighed with loss. “ ... Did you kill the dragon?” She pointed to the middle of the room where Abraxas was hacking at the Wyrm’s left horn with the axe. “Thor's balls you did!” Looking down at himself he frowned (you have 1 hp). “I guess he got me first huh?” (Kovid, reduce Con to 17, raised from dead is perm 1 pt loss in Con)

“No shit, Brillopad,” Lannis noted.

“Where the fuck is my hammer!?"

Wyn held it up, shaking it about. “’Ere eet is. I ne’er got a chance to smack dat dragon wit’ it.”

Kovid limped over there, taking it back, frowning at he state of the enchanted weapon. “Thanks’ Wyn.”

“No problem.” He rubbed his chin and gave Brendon a clap on the shoulder. “Merci du Lac. H'okay... we found dis, oui?”

Counting the key holes, Brendon headed over to Abraxas, spinning his prybar once in the air and catching it. “Well I guess it’s up to you four to open the vault. I’ll just hang out over here and wait.”

Meanwhile the Fighter was chopping and laughing. "Work all night on a drink of rum! Daylight come and me wanna go home..."

“Might as well get it over with.” The Cleric was giving the entire thing a once over, eyes settled in thought. “Let’s crack the vault open and see what’s inside. I want to get the fuck out of this place. Did I ever tell you guys I hated it here.”

“About 30 or 40 times.” Wyn took of the 4 vault keys and looked them over. “Gonna need ta put dees in. I would guess like de order o’ de poem? Morrigaan key, Theystra key, Lolth key…an’ de Ishtari key”

Lannis wasn’t paying much attention and sighed deeply as if his soul was on fire. With a show of great reluctance he took out the Ishtari Rod and handed it towards Wyn with ill grace. "Yeah sure, take it, whatever,” he said sarcastically. “I've only been carrying this thing around for days on end, damn near since we walked in, so some pocket of sentient swamp gas could take it from me right at the finish line. Someday I will tell the story of how I watched someone else open the vault for me. On a side note, can we all agree that whatever we find in there we won't start pawing over shit and trying things on?"

The party all turned to look at the Magic User, letting his tirade run down. At its completion, Wyn replied with the same level of weary sarcasm that Lannis had just used. “Oh, Mooonsieur Genius. We tank you all for ever’tin’ you’ve done for us in here wit’ no expectation o’ a reward or appreciation. We dunt bring in any rose petals or dancin’ girls to parade around ye whenever ye foist a nugget o’ wisdom at us.” His voice dropped half an octave. “But I don’t need de Rod, dumb ass.” He shook the 4 goddess keys. “We ‘ave dees? Rem’ber? So put yer toy an ‘tude away afore it’ gets chaffed from too much rubbin’ udders the wrong way.”

“Wow!” Lannis nodded with a smirk. “What a long winded way to say, you made a mistake.” He put the rod back and smiled broadly. “Good show, Swampitude. I knew if given enough time you’d come around to my way of thinking and doing things.”

“Ugh, just kill me.”

Brendon was whacking the other horn at the opposite time that Abraxas was hitting his, both men singing. “Come Mister Tally-Man, Tally me banana. Daylight come and I wanna go home!”

Taking a grip on the first key, the elf suggested, “You all might want ta back up for dis... just in case.” After making sure they moved back a step, he turned the first key!

And then the second.

The third.

And the fourth.

The door to the Vault made a cracking noise. So he took the center handle and turned it 90 degrees to the right.

And the door opened.

Rainbow light spilled out from the circlet of woven silver and gold that sat on a shelf in the Vault, 7 distinct gems with light spilling off of them, giving the room a prismatic glow around the area. In addition, there was a high collar cloak of woven golden thread with shoulder epaulets, various elven symbols of nobility adorning the side and front. A scepter of silver, also similarly carved and designed to mirror the cloak in symbology, the end of the rod had an open hand at the end of it as if extended in friendship. And lastly, there was a rosewood box with no top, pretty big, and within it was a dark mummified mass of muscle at least 6 lbs in weight.

“Dibs.”

Lannis turned around, eyes blazing. “Ok, which joker here said that?!”

“Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch! Daylight come and I wanna go home!” Both Brendon and Abraxas smiled as they worked, the two men overjoyed at about the same time, they each managed to snap off the respective dragon horns they had been working on (G Str potion and 18 strength!).

Time now is Day 13, 9:24 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 44 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 34 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 24 Minutes

Mirror Image (Wyn): 10 Minutes – 3 images

Good job – you did it! Let me know what the plan is. Harvesting dragon stuff: larger scales, horns (you got), and teeth. For the elf and wizard, blood. Nothing else is worth the return on effort or cost back at town.

Sunday, October 24, 2021

PBEM - Episode 574. Victory

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY FOUR

(I/C)

Sitting all the way up and then pushing herself to her feet, Lyra looked over at the dragon and broke into a pain filled smile, “Holy shit we actually killed him.” She grinned, taking in the entire room, “SWEET AINE WE KILLED THE BASTARD—oh shit Kovid.” She wandered over to the burnt remains of the dwarf an did her best to make sure that his remains were laid out neatly. She took out her scroll of Raise Dead and the last over sized diamond, readying herself to cast her spell.

“Priestess... Offop… “ Wyn asked floating around, heading towards the vault, eye on Corfard’s remains. “We… sure … it’s… dead … dis … time?

Brendon gave a deep sigh, brushing the worst of the grit and soot off of him and limped towards the Vault with Wyn. “Thank Poseidon it’s finally dead.”

“Lake… cen… ye… check… vault… fer… traps?”

“On my way,” he replied with a grunt. “Just everything that is part of me is kind of hurting.”

“Oui! Tell me about it”

"Well that was unexpected.” Lannis scowled, frowning at the damage to his hat. He put it on and seemed unsatisfied the way it was fitting. “Do dragons always explode or just this one? I feel like someone would have told me if dragons explode. For once however I am okay with not finding out the answer to this mystery.”

“I’m amazed Lannis didn’t know dragons exploded,” the Scout said with a slightly superior tone, with which the wizard refused to acknowledge or reply to.

Instead he headed over to Lyra with his cat book and proceeded to watch her work her spell on the dwarf. “You know Lyra, from a purely hypothetical standpoint, there are arguments to me made for...wait...ing.” He saw her give him a withering side eye glower and let his comment trail off. “You know what? Never mind...I'll be over here collecting samples or something.”

Nodding Wyn agreed, “Dere… be… so… much gore everywhere!” His speech cadence sped up and he smiled. “Oh, look. No more poison! Très bien!”

Brendon was giving the vault a once over, eyes sharp and fingers working. “It wouldn’t have hurt the story if Corfard didn’t explode and I walked away with a horn to drink from.”

"Wow... amigos... I TOLD YOU El Dragon no eres un Dios! Matatamos El Limp Wyrm y ahora vayamos en el Vault Grande! Maybe hay es algun pieces de ese dragon podemos sell por mas oro? Y puede Señora Lycheera fix Señor Kovamos?" As Abraxas looked over the dragon he frowned. “Senors..eh..he’s not in pieces!”

“Eh?”

Abraxas kicked the dragon hard. “Si! He’s whole. Con agujeros en el.”

Lyra nodded. “Whatever necromantic “whatever” was inside him, that’s what exploded. Remember, he was dabbling in his own necromancy, probably as a conduit for whatever dark dragon god had goosed him on this quest. The revenants, the guardian zombies, each of them had a little piece of Corfard in them, powering them. When we killed him…twice; it let go and that’s what blew out.”

Wyn tossed his woodcutter axe to Abraxas who caught it and nodded. He spat in each hand and hoisted back, eyeing the dragon’s left head horn for now. “Bueno! Let’s see what puedo cosechar”

The elf, his three images, and the Scout spent some time on the Vault and outside of the 4 key holes marked by the goddess designs on the back of the keys and the center handle to be turned when unlocked, (no roll needed), Brendon was totally confident that there was no lingering traps waiting to be sprung.

Meanwhile Wyn was frowning, hearing noises from outside the Castle through the skylight. He floated up and passed through, looking around with care. He could see smoke rising in distant parts of the city of Acreage. And there were cries and shouts, the sounds of battle and distant yells and screams. He wandered over to the wall and looked over, noting that the campsite that had been established by the reinforcement forces the dragon had called for was currently disheveled and uninhabited. He floated back to the skylight, noting that the 2 rust monsters were not visible either up here but could see where they had climbed down and were running around the base of the Ispan’s Castle, bumping their heads on the pale remaining shimmer of the rainbow ward in their attempt to get out.

He came back inside and said, “I tink dat whatever de dragon’s charisma was involved in keepin all de mongrelmen, orcs, and wotnot is over. Dere is a lot of fightin’ in de city right now.”

“Then I’m glad the ward is still up,” Brendon said.

“Might fall down tomorrow,” Lannis offered, scooching closer to the dwarf’s remains, noting that Lyra’s hands had taken on a silvery white shimmering hue.

“You are just mister cheerful, aren’t you?”

Lyra was coming to the end of her spell, the scroll’s contents burning away, the diamond crumpling to dust. “Come on you grizzly bastard, time to come back.” 

Kovid was hoisting a tankard of the smoothest ale he had ever seen before. The head was perfect, the amber color was crisp, even the temperature of it was spot on. He could feel his mouth watering at the thought of taking his first sip. His grandfather, a warrior who had died at least 2 decades ago, had one arm wrapped around the young Manslayer, tugging the side of his beard with a grin the same way he had done when Kovid was a wee lad.

The table was laden with ribs, pies, roast turkey, poached quail, braised fish, and blackened seared steak. A busty dwarven shieldmaiden was singing a ribald tune while sitting crosslegged on a nearby chair, a 6 stringed lyre in her hands. Dogs were running around the base of the table, eating scraps off the floor and stopping now and again for a head rub or scratch. There was merriment, cheers, and happiness in the great hall as well over 100 dwarves were feasting and singing and enjoying their just rewards.

“Kovid!”

The dwarf looked up to see the red bearded dwarven aspect of Thor stride over, Mjolnir hanging idly in one hand, a drinking horn made from some great beast in the other. “Glad you made it!”

“Thanks Thor!”

“I always knew my Grandson would do the family line proud,” he grandfather said, beaming with pride. “Apple might have skipped over his good for nothing father, but By Thunder…”

“BY THUNDER!!” all the dwarves in the Valhallan mead all echoed with a cheer.

Kovid’s grandfather hoisted his own tankard and continued. “…I always knew you’d make it here, boy.”

“Thanks,” Kovid said looking around. He noted the woodwork, the architecture, everything about the place, but most importantly, the feeling that he made it. That he was one of them and that he belonged here. “I can’t thank you all enough.”

Thor clapped Kovid on the shoulder and hoisted his horn high. “Drink up, Lad! This is Valhalla! Land of the Fallen Brave! Why Brunhilda herself brought you here, Viking maiden, plucked right when you were burned to a crisp by that Jormungdurun spawn of shit, Corfard. Ha ha!”

“HA HA!!!” The crowd cheered.

“To Kovid!”

“KOVID!”

“May his deeds and death be sung for centuries to come!”

“HERE HERE!”

And as Kovid tilted the mug back, feeling the first drop of Heaven’s Ale touch his lips, he heard a faint whinny, the smell of summer grass, and a woman’s voice say, “Don’t mind me, just gotta get this one back…Ooo, that looks tasty! Save me a spot, I’d like to try some of that ale.”

And then Kovid drew in a ragged breath, his lungs hurt, there was something burnt in his mouth, his skin felt like it had been dipped in acid. His hair had been burnt partially from him, bones seemed to be fitting poorly. Lyra was over him with a hand on his forehead and from his good eye, he could see Lannis scowling at him from 3 feet away, cat book in his hand. “Wot?” the dwarf croaked, tears running down his cheeks as he realized he had been whisked away from Valhalla.

“I hope you’re happy with yourself,” the Magic User scolded him. “We wasted a diamond on you. A big diamond. Our last big diamond.” His frown deepened. “You disappoint me, Kovid. But that’s to be expected I guess.” He looked closer and asked, “What the fuck now? Why are you crying? Lyra, why is Kovid crying. Ugh, embarrassing!”

Time now is Day 13, 9:14 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 54 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 44 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 34 Minutes

Mirror Image (Wyn): 20 Minutes – 3 images

Fly (Wyn): 6 Minutes

Alright! Welcome back Kovid> Vault is not trapped. Talk to me!

PBEM - Episode 573. Final Fight!

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY THREE

(I/C)

"Incoming fire! Medic!” Lannis was ripping through his spell book again, finger stabbing down at one page, reading the words right from the book. “We have a man down over here! Private Equestria get the lead out!"

“Ah… shit,” Lyra cursed running towards the dragon, casting as she ran. She looked over at the burned corpse of the dwarf. “Hold on for a little longer Kovid! Aine! Some fire protection! For me!” (Resist Fire, 20 minutes for self)

“Wow! That’s really closing the barn door after the horses were set on fire and left to die, isn’t it Hoofbeat? I’m sure Burning Man over there would have liked that consideration. IN BET GRAV POR!” The Magic User shredded Magic Missile right from his spell book (MM 1d6+1 Damage, Pink 4+1=5 Damage!), blasting a burning hole in Corfard’s rear flank large enough to shove a helmet in to.

“Idiot! You can’t kill Kovid!” Brendon fired one of his dwindling arrows at Corfard (<+6 to hit, +1 bless, Red 4). “He’ll just comeback as a variant of himself!”

The shaft hit and was smashed free by the dragon’s claw, Corfard looking around wildly as he watched Abraxas lower his head and charge at him like a race horse, and Wyn fly over to Kovid and snag the dwarf’s scintillating Theystran Hammer from the ground, holding it aloft. “For Koooovid!!!!!!!”

"Mamalapinga! MatasteaKobidity, tuhijodeperro! Ahora, tuesfinitooyosoy. Muerestuidolofalso! NoesunDios, tuesnada!" The Fighter had his Scythe cocked all the way back, eyes fixated on the dragon. Corfard has his head lowered, anticipating biting the Fighter and killing him. They closed and at the last moment, Abraxas leapt up and swung the Morrigaan weapon with all of his might (>+8 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 20! Critical! Max Damage – 18 and killed!!), the enchanted Scythe slamming into Corfard’s skull point first, ripping through the ocular cavity and punching the Wyrn directly in the brain!

Corfard screamed in mortal agony, Abraxas hanging on to the weapon as the dragon reared back, dragging the Scythe and Fighter with him! At the apex of his tilt, his eyes rolled white and there was a rumbling sound coming from the Wyrm’s center. He fell back. Abraxas ending up on top of the dead Corfard, and then some sort of grey presence within the dragon…

Exploded.

Everyone was blown back, heads smacking walls, floors, ceilings. The air was forced out of the chamber and vision grew dim as the dragon’s death throes consumed everything in the chamber, especially time. They heard keening wails and droning screeches as their teeth shook and the castle seemed to shake.

And then the world went dark and the group faded from consciousness.

It was some time later that they awoke, slowly and in some pain. (Abraxas: healing surge final 1d4+1: White 3+1 = 4)

There wasn’t a bit of exposed skin that wasn’t abraided, every bit or armor was scratched and dimpled, clothing was ragged and edges frayed. It had been some time that had passed but the group groaned and pushed themselves up again, looking around the hazy chamber, wiping the grit and dist from their eyes.

“So…,” Lyra groaned, lying on her back and staring up through the skylights at the rainbow shield above. “I think…we did it.”

Lannis, feeling around for his hat and finding it in the corner, crawled over to it and plopped it on his head. He could feel worn out, just done. But he did look around the huge chamber, sighing at the whorls or dust moving on the eddying breeze. “Does this we…include Koivd?” he indicated the still very dead burned corpse of the dwarf. “And in addition, I don’t see…any prism crown in our hand, do you?”

Time now is Day 13, 8:59 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 69 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 59 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 49 Minutes

Mirror Image (Wyn): 35 Minutes – 3 images

Fly (Wyn): 21 Minutes

Monster XP: 9k Corfard and 8k 2nd Corfard.

Everyone add 2,850 xp

Congratulations. Let me know how you want to handle the vault, Kovid, and expectations on leaving. It’s 4 days to the nearest town – so that means you need food for today as well as the next 4. I think you have it, Abraxas still has 33 days of Elven rations so if you go to leave tonight or tomorrow – should be alright. There is a fuck ton of stuff to bring back. But let me know how you envision the next hour to go please. Great job – this was an entire team effort.

Saturday, October 23, 2021

PBEM - Episode 572. Final Fight!

The group is seriously rocking damage on Corfard, between the fighter being hasted, both heavy hitters with a striking spell, the bless, ripping spells out of the spellbook, and a number of great rolls, the dragon fight is collapsing faster than I had originally anticipated or expected. Tactics I had planned I had to scrap quickly as the damage output and striking overwhelmed what I assumed would be a drawn out boss fight.

But, I was able to use the last bit of tactic which was to save the 3rd breath weapon for the time when I could try and whack them when they were not under the window of the Statues - and even with a save, Kovid the dwarf hit well beyond negative 5 - and was slain.

However, the numbers are against him and this is pretty much his last possible round.

Follows:

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY TWO

(I/C)

Seeing Kovid webbed on the ground, Lannis summoned forth a fast spell and shot it towards the dwarf. “Friendly's pinned down! On your feet soldier, this war waits for no man! Head down, fire incoming!" The trailing Spark hit the web (d6 flaming damage, Pink 4 – Kovid take 4!) and set it ablaze! As it burned, the dwarf took a number of trailing streaks of fire across his body, making him hiss in pain as he tried to stagger to his feet (half move & -4 to hit if able to at end of round due to being webbed).

Lyra meanwhile spat at Corfard as she downed her last healing potion (Healing potions 1d6: White 3 – Heal 3!) and then threw the empty at the dragon’s head.  “Hah. All this not dying is making me thirsty. Maybe you should try a little harder? Maybe the next bite will take me down finally?”

As the dragon went to reply, Brendon had been taking aim and let an arrow fly, aiming for Corfard’s mouth. “Choke on this!” he snarled (>+6 to hit, +1 bless, Red 16), the shaft hitting the Wyrm in the jaw and sticking this time (1d6 Damage, Red 3).

“You pissants are infuriating me,” Corfard warned, smoke trialing from his jaws.

"Suscorazonesstillfresh, no? Problamentebuenoconfrijolesyarrozyguacamol,” he swung hard, Scythe dancing about (>+8 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 14) cutting and ripping through a double depth of scales (1d8+1d6+4 Damage, Blue 4, Blue 4. 4+4+4=12 Damage!), making Corfard stagger from the impact. “Hijodeperro... ahoratengohambre!" He tried to repeat the swing (<+8 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 9) but the dragon was turning, showing thicker scales that had not been damaged yet.

“Lyra!” Wyn shouted out.

“Yeah?”

“Is he almost dead?” he asked.

She shook her head. “This big old bitch is getting there but he’s NOT almost dead!”

“Merde! Plan B!” Wyn tore through his spellbook, burning one his enchantments right from it (Mirror Image 1d4 Images: Orange 3) and 3 versions of him appeared around him! He then flew right in front of the Dragon’s face and shouted, “Hey ya big ol’ bitch. Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa into stone. Yo mama so fat when I pictured her in my head she broke my neck. Yo mama is so ugly, Hel's dead half saw her, she started to cry! Yo mama so old... no... wait... she dead.” He snapped his fingers and spat, “And no one cares!”

“Senor Whistlin’ has come up with el stupid plan,” Abraxas noted, readying another series of attacks.

(Initiative Party Steel 3 vs Corfard Red/Black 4)

(Healing surge Abraxas 1d4+1: White 2+1=3, Heal 3!)

The Dragon scowled, contemplated smacking the elf out of the way, and glanced down at the Cleric. “Do you monkey’s know the definition of insanity?” he asked with a growl, “It’s doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome.” His eyes lifted to Lannis, the Magic User blanching. “Let’s change the paradigm a bit here.” He reared back and moved with surprising speed and grace, wings unfurling, a gale force wind blowing about the chamber. Abraxas tried to get a free swing on him (<+8 to hit, +1 bless, White 10) but the dragon was a touch faster.

“There is no rule that says I need to stay in one spot and get beat up by you,” he said. “Nor do I need to keep blunting my teeth on you, Cleric Monkey, with bites that would have killed anyone else it seems.”

He took a deepening breath. “And although you are a tasty target, elf, you are a mayfly distraction to me and my majesty.” His chest swelled and smoke leaked from his snout. “So allow me to do what it is I do best.”

He lowered his head and grinned at Kovid from barely 15’ away, sighting past the dwarf to where Lannis and Brendon were looking for a place to hide right now. “And that…is BURN!!!”

And his jaws opened wide, and a cone of flame 90’ long, 30’ at the end, blew out of the Dragon’s mouth and coursed along the entirety of the room, washing over the dwarf with barely a pause before it rocketed into both the Scout and the Magic User, accompanied by the dragon’s howling scream! (Save vs Breath Weapon: >Kovid Yellow 18, <Lannis Pink 9, <Brendon Red 11. Kovid is NOT in any statue range, so takes HALF damage. Half of 71…is 36 (rounded up). Kovid goes from 17 hp…to NEAGATIVE 19 hp and is very very very fucking dead. Brendon and Lannis each take 8 hp damage (within statue range, reduced to 1/10th and rounded up) – bringing them to 3…and 6 hit points respectively)

Kovid had been reduced to a half melted burning mass of ash and meat, the reek of burning fat, charred hair, and something like bacon filling the air. As for the other 2, they were singed bad, but still standing. “Ah!” he turned to the shocked party and smiled. “Now that’s a bit better.” He grinned deeply from at least 45’ away, “Now, where were we?”

Time now is Day 13, 8:34 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 94 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 84 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 74 Minutes

Mirror Image (Wyn): 60 Minutes – 3 images

Fly (Wyn): 46 Minutes

Silenced 15’ Radius, half power (Lannis): 10 Minutes

Bless: 8 Minutes

Striking (Kovid’s Hammer): 8 Minutes

Slowed (Wyn): 4 Minutes

Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): Final Minute

Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 1 more on the “4’s”

Kovid’s dead, potion effects on him end at his death, so he reduces to normal size. Corfard is pretty damned hurt. Party is pretty damned hurt. But it’s the bottom of the round, and you guys go. He moved some distance away, 45’ from the melee people (including Wyn the Flier). Good news, he’s out of breath weapons right now. Abraxas, last round with the Striking on your Scythe. Good luck!!

Friday, October 22, 2021

PBEM - Episode 571. Final Fight!

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY ONE

(I/C)

Taking aim, Brendon gave Lyra a nudge and suggested, “Lass get in there and help!” before firing (<+6 to hit, +1 bless, Red 6), arrow breaking on the dragon’s flank. “Damn it, I’m down to 6 arrows!”

Digging out a vial of healing, she hoisted her Lolthian Flail and ran in, “Everyone calm your nuts, I’m going in next!”

Wyn fired from the ceiling, swooping around a bit more to the north and east, heading towards Lannis and Brendon (<+8 to hit, +1 bless, Orange 4), his own shaft blunting on impact and falling aside. “Merde. I am down to quatre!”

Cocking his hammer back, Kovid readied his legs beneath him and when the dragon’s head came about for another snapping bite, he jumped up and swung hard, “Eat Theystra’s silver hammer you meat stick.” (>+6 to hit, +1 bless, Yellow 20 –Critical! Max Damage: 8+3+1+6(striking) = 18 Damage!) At the apex of his jump, his hammer connect with the side of the dragon’s head, both Corfard’s skull and the Theystran Hammer rang like a gong; the dragon lolling back, red flames blowing from its mouth from the hit. He landed with one knee down, grinning madly. “Ha!”

As for the dragon, scales on its face were shattered, its horn was bent and chipped, and there was a gap in its mouth where busted teeth fell free, the eyeball rolling wildly in its socket. “You Don’t Ever Strike A God!!!!”

Lyra arrived, pressing the healing potion in Abraxas’ hand, kicking the dragon in the shin and shrieking at him, “You think we can’t wipe the floor with you a second time? Think again you bitch, bitch!” 

Drawing his Ishtari Rod, Lannis noted it read”4” on the counter before he readied the weapon and called out in the spell induced half volume voice, "Second Lieutenant Offop in enfilade providing suppressing fire! Concentrating fire on enemy designated Tenfold Shields! Let's go people, we are moving!" He activated the rod and (2-4 bolts: Pink 5:3+1=4 bolts!) it fired off four times! (+7 to hit, +1 Bless, >White 20 – Crit Max Damage 6!, >Pink 19 – 1d6 Damage Pink 6 – 6 Damage!, <Pink 6, <White 12) One bolt tore into the dragon’s midsection, disappearing up to the fletching, another shredded the muscle cluster near the left wing. Corfard roared in fury from the punishment, stomping the ground hard enough to crack the flagstones.

The Cleric swung (<+4 to hit, +1 bless, White 13), her silver weapon hitting and sparking, but the dragon was frustrated with other issues befalling it.

"BettunopuedescomerourCleric, tuUndeadIdoloFalso!" Abraxas finished his potion (Heal 1d6: Blue 5 – Heal 5!), getting a bit of strength returned , before swinging past Lyra’s shield to (=+8 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 13) cut through Corfard’s hide and drag his Morrigaan Scythe through the beast’s guts (1d8+4 damage, Blue 6+4=10 Damage!)

(Bite for: 1-4 Lyra, 5 Kovid, 6 Abraxas: Green 4 – Lyra – swing on both fighters)

“I’ll show you false, monkey!” Corfard spat, turning its eyes at the dwarf. “First lets’ clear the board of your Rook!” His tail arced back and he turned, swinging it with all his might (<+12 to hit, Red/Black 17), it making a WHOOSHING sound as it clove the air just before hitting Kovid like a freight train (1d8+4 Damage: Blue 4+4=8 Damage. Knock back @ ½ Str: Yellow 11 – no! Knocked back 20’ and prone). The dwarf’s armor actually rang as he was hurled up and back, at least half a spear throw, before he rolled to a stop, head shaking, head bleeding, trying to catch his breath.

“HA! Stay down!” He then whirled on Abraxas, “And for you, Knight!” he lifted one claw up and tore it straight down, looking to shred the Fighter! (<+12 to hit, Blue 3) But Abraxas rolled out of the way just in time, sparks shredding the stones where the dragon’s claws has hit.

“Never mind,” he fixed his eyes on Lyra. “Let’s deal with the Bishop!” (>+12 to hit, Black 18!) His jaws hit and she screamed as she was lifted up and shaken about, his jaws crunching again and again (3d8+4 Damage: Invulnerability potion – all randoms are 1: 1+1+1+4=7 Damage!). But as before, when it was over, she was hurt, but not ripped apart. “I don’t know how long whatever spell you have on you, Little Monkey. But it won’t last forever!”

(Initiative 1 vs 1 – reroll: Party Steel 1 vs Corfard Red/Black 4)

Hearing Kovid trying to get up, Corfard made a “tsking” noise and said, “Stay down, Rook. Mommy and Daddy are fighting!” A burst of sticky webs flew out from one claw, coating the dwarf from head to toe, sticking him to the ground for now. “That’s better! Stay where I can find you!”

He then brought his tail around, looking to smash Abraxas out of the way as he had done Kovid (<+12 to hit, Black 3 – twice I’ve missed you!!) but the Fighter threw himself flat, hasted speed giving him enough time to do so and bounce up after the tail flew on by, just missing getting smashed. “Aww! Quick little monkey!”

“And you girl? Ready to meet my gullet at long last?!” He snapped forward again, biting Lyra (>+12 to hit, Green 12), and once more savaged the Cleric who was crying and sobbing and moaning in fury (3d8+4 Damage: Invulnerability potion – all randoms are 1: 1+1+1+4=7 Damage!). She was pretty hurt at this point, but damn it all to hell if Lyra wasn’t STILL standing, defiant sneer on her face, shield and armor dented, scratched, ripped, and punctured. “What is it going to take to KILL you all!?!”

Time now is Day 13, 8:33 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 95 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 85 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 75 Minutes

Giant Growth (Kovid): 65 Minutes

Fly (Wyn): 47 Minutes

Silenced 15’ Radius, half power (Lannis): 11 Minutes

Bless: 9 Minutes

Striking (Kovid’s Hammer): 9 Minutes

Slowed (Wyn): 5 Minutes

Webbed (Kovid): 5 minutes (normally 18-Str in turns – revised Giant sized Str is 17. So 1 turn, but big sized, so cut in half for 5 rounds)

Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): 2 Minutes

Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 2 more on the “4’s”

Abraxas gets a healing surge at the start of the next round for 1d4+1. Corfard is pretty hurt, rest of the party is as well. Kovid is webbed for now. And Corfard has 1 more breath weapon, he’s saving it and trying to be smart. HP: Lannis 11, Lya 7, Wyn 10, Abraxas 10 (healing coming!), Brendon 14, Kovid 21

Bottom of the round – you go!

Thursday, October 21, 2021

PBEM - Episode 570. Final Fight!

FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY

(I/C)

Seeing the battered and bloodied majesty of Corfard standing up again, the dragon’s mouth agape, eyes fixated on the party (at least the 5 of them), Lannis flipped to his spell book and looked down at the fireball penned there. Taking a deep breath, he sighed, began to cast directly from his book, and broke into song, "Now I've had the time of my life, no I've never felt this way before...Yes I swear, it's the truth,” he caressed the spell and shuddered, “And I owe it all to you! Cause I've had the time of my life, and I owe it all to you!” He gave a pelvic thrust as the words were boiling out of the book, surrounding him in a pink nimbus glow of gathering power.

“Honestly Lannis,” Lyra scowled, pointing at Kovid’s Theystran hammer and calling a Striking spell upon it (+1d6 damage for next 10 minutes while using this weapon’s Kovid). “I would rather die right now than listen to your singing.”

Getting an arrow ready, Brendon glanced at the Cleric as asked, “Lass are you channeling Lannis’ mother?”

Meanwhile, the Magic User was approaching the end of his spell, belting out his song in a rising display of showmanship. “I've been waiting for so long, now I've finally found someone, to stand by me!” He wiped a tear away as the words were practically gone, awash with flaming light. “We saw the writing on the wall, as we felt this magical fantasy. I'll miss you...” he kissed the last word, choking a sob as he did so, “when we get back to town I'll get you back.” Glowing at the dragon, he pushed the spiraling magic into form as the pages turned to ash and finished up with, “Now, once more with feeling. IN VAS FLAM GRAV POR! FOYER BRAWL!"

A streak of burning energy blew out from Lannis’ hands and blasted across the room, exploding right under the newly risen Corfard consuming the entire front half of the dragon in cascading flames! (5d6 Damage: 5,5,4,3,3=20. Save vs spells, Red/Black 12 – Half – Takes 10 Damage!!) Steam rose from its scales as the fire burned away, and Corfard raised an eye ridge at Lannis before scowling at the wizard.

From near the ceiling, Wyn fired (>+8 to hit, +1 bless, Orange 19), the arrow slamming out and hitting a weak section of scales just at the underside of the dragon’s wing (1d6 Damage, Orange 6), making it yelp in pain. “Damn you, elf!!” it roared as Wyn streaked across the shadowy sections of the ceiling, putting some distance between him and Corfard.

“Nah…nah…nahnah…nah!”

Brendon released his own arrow (+6 to hit, +1 bless, Red 14 – missed by 1!!), the shaft punching out and hitting Corfard in the face before bouncing away. “Hey! Over here!” he shouted.

Readying his weapon and seeing the run they had to make, Kovid turned to Abraxas and asked, “You ready Big A?”

The Fighter shot his crossbow (<+5 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 5), the bolt hitting the dragon on the flank and then turned aside. Dropping the crossbow, he hoisted his pack over one shoulder, Scythe out with the other hand, and nodded, "Let'sUnkilleseUndeadpendejo!" The two friends ran, Abraxas keeping pace with Kovid to keep him in the range of the statue he was carrying.

“Let’s try something,” Corfard snarled, one claw shooting off an crackling enchantment that smashed into Lannis (Save vs Spells, Pink 11 – no!) bathing him in a red muting light that stretched off around him. (Silence 15’ radius – normally 12 turns. However with statue, lasts only 1/10th length of time, and reduced effect – half volume) What should have blanketed the magic user in a impenetrable globe of silence, instead was lesser at the Corfard Statue in his pack ate most of the dragon’s effect.

“…nice try…” Lannis said, voice soft sounding, but not at all silenced.

“Damn you, Mage!” Corfard roared, striding forward 4 paces to assault the dwarf and fighter (first attack at 1, bite at the other. 1st attack at: 1-3 Abr, 4-6 Kovid. Green 6 – claw kovid, bite Abraxas). It slashed down hard, its huge claw (>+12 to hit, Black 9) tearing into the dwarf, but Kovid blocking most of the effect with his Theystran Hammer (1d8+4 Damage, 1+4=5, crap roll, take 5 damage). It did reach down though, and effected a huge bite at the Fighter (>+12 to hit, Red 14), making him scream as he was lifted up and chewed on, his armor crushing as the dragon’s teeth tore through, drawing multiple points of blood below (3d8+4 Damage, 1+8+4=13+4=17 Damage! Ouch – Down to 5!). Abraxas had his Scythe up and levered the dragon’s jaws wide, sliding out and free, rolling to the ground and coughing up blood. “Aha hahah!! Corfard laughed.

(Initiative Party Steel 4 vs Corfard Red/Black 3)

Time now is Day 13, 8:32 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 96 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 86 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 76 Minutes

Giant Growth (Kovid): 66 Minutes

Fly (Wyn): 48 Minutes

Silenced 15’ Radius, half power (Lannis): 12 Minutes

Bless: 10 Minutes

Striking (Kovid’s Hammer): 10 Minutes

Slowed (Wyn): 6 Minutes

Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): 3 Minutes

Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 2 more on the “4’s”

Ok ok ok. Dragon took some serious hits. Lyra has 2 healing potions and is invulnerable – she is the best to take the dragon bites for now. And since he moved up to engage Kovid and Abraxas, you can get there this round Lyra if you want. Kovid and Abraxas each have striking weapons and bless is STILL going on (hooray BX) so you have that going for you. Abraxas has a healing surge in 2 rounds as well. Figure it out! And good luck!!

PBEM - Episode 569. Final Fight!

FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY NINE

(I/C)

Taking out his potion of Healing, Kovid tilted it back, sighing contentedly as he drank it down (Healing Potion 1d6: Yellow 5, Heal 5!). “I can almost taste the Korona Golden Ale.” He lifted his hammer and sighted down at Corfard’s form, strange purple, red, and black lights dancing across his scales. “Let’s end this.”

Rubbing his eyes, Lannis looked at the massive pile of fallen bricks and then whirled back at Kovid. “Hey! What the fuck happened there Biggie Smalls, too busy trying to get to second base with the dragon to watch that fucking tail of his? You know, the one stopping the trap from going off on my head? Fucking OOPS.”

Abraxas took out his potion of Extra Healing and handed it to Lannis, who took it with a smile and nod of thanks, before scowling once again at the dwarf and then the Cleric. “Yo, Pharfignewton, get back on the horn with Whiney up there and tell her to stop doing that woman thing and giving us vague answers about what's next!”

"Get ready Señor,” Abraxas motioned, Scythe out and ready. “We no eres finito yet!"

The Magic User drank to potion (Xtra Healing 2d6: Pink 4+4=8 Damage healed!), color returning to his cheeks. “Get a real answer out of her, tell her you'll take her shopping or something.”

Brendon went to hand the Corfard Statue to Abraxas. “Here Doc, take this.”

“Ah ah!” Lannis snapped, hands reaching out to snag the statue. “No. You borrow something, you return it. Understand? And another thing QE-2, if you ever haunt my dream again I will metaphorically drown you in literal water.” He looked around, setting himself near an outcropping of fallen blocks. “Also you don't get credit for not going through my shit."

It’s almost like brain cancer,” Brendon sighed. He looked around, sword out, eying the dragon and the growing patina of glowing lights. “So, whadda we think is going to happen now?”

Lyra gave a silent prayer to Aine (CLW 1d6+1. White 6+1=7, Heal 7!), bringing some vitality back to herself. “I don’t really feel great about what’s about to come next. Maybe if I just try to turn undead he will just go away?”

Meanwhile, diving out of the air, Wyn charged the advancing rust monster, arms spread, moving swiftly. “Well… worked… de… first… time…” He dove low and the monster whirled, limbs up and skittering backwards as the elf hit it (>+4 Grapple to hit, Orange 16). He wrapped one arm around it’s back and the other grabbed it by its third leg, he then grunted and forced his body to turn UP, shooting for the shattered skylight above (<Str check, Orange 3). “Won’t…be…long!”

The Rust Monster stabbed and scratched at the elf (>+4 to hit, +4 grappled, Black 11), cutting and scraping him (1d3 Damage, Red/Black 2:1 – Take 1 Damage!) as they passed through the ceiling and rose higher into the air. At 30’ over the roof line, he shoved and tossed, throwing the Rust Monster towards the other one that was limping up there (3d6 Damage, 3,4,3=10 Damage!) where it hit with a crunch before bouncing and rolling to a stop, badly hurt from the effort. “See…ya!” he said, taking his bow out and heading back down through the skylight, ending up roughly where he had been before.

Just in time to see the lights surrounding the dead dragon grow blindingly bright, consuming half the flesh from Corfard before he opened his eyes and shoved himself upright again. “Ah!!!” he roared, voice deeper and shallow sounding. “Blessed Tiamat has born me anew!!” He looked around, seeing the party across the chamber (did not notice Wyn). “Now…where were we?”

(Initiative Party Steel 6 vs Corfard Red/Black 5)

Time now is Day 13, 8:31 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 97 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 87 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 77 Minutes

Giant Growth (Kovid): 67 Minutes

Fly (Wyn): 49 Minutes

Bless: 11 Minutes

Slowed (Wyn): 7 Minutes

Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): 4 Minutes

Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 2 more on the “4’s”

Here we go. For all the marbles! I wish the party the best of luck. Remember – you have the Omega 30 if there is a terrible shitty round – rewinds time back to the beginning of that section of the round – either YOUR start or CORFARD’S start – and if there was an initiative roll at the start, it will and can be rerolled. You got this – the dice will decide!

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

PBEM - Episode 568. Coming soon! and Wait! There's More!

FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY EIGHT

(I/C)

Lannis looks around the large empty place he felt himself currently standing in, unsure of anything, only feeling a growing pressure on him from somewhere and a slowly growing sense of fading away. “Where am I?"

"This is the inside of your head, Dickweed,” a voiced sounded from near him. The voice sounded just like his own, but with a harshness to it. “Hey did you put those gloves on because they make you look like the handjob queen of Specularum or was that just a bonus?"

"My head?” he asked with a groan. “I always assumed it would be more...full. Wait,” he blinked hard and whirled around, “who said that?" While looking for the source of the voice, his eyes fell to a stuffed one foot tall monkey dressed like him.

It snapped its fingers and replied, "I did, Flat cap! Lannisbone!” The monkey preened and glanced down at Lannis’ feet, “Hey, I bet your orc name would be Runs In Heels." Lannisbone hiked up his robe to reveal a pair of very high platform stiletto stripper shoes and then procceeded to run around Lannis. "Besides”, it continued while running, “it ain't empty. Right over there are your horse jokes, your magical knowledge, and your good ideas!" It pointed in turn to a large warehouse, a few soggy boxes, and a single piece of paper, currently engulfed in flames.

"What, but, why are you here?” Lannis asked, “Who created you?"

"Created me?” Lannisbone smirked, “You did, Lame brain! Or the other way around. Who's keeping track anymore? Either I'm the real you, or you're the real me!” He jumped on Lannis' shoulders and continued, “Either way, when those farm animals you do not mutually consider to be friends get around to healing your dead weight ass, only one of us gets a ticket out and…spoiler alert… it won't be you Houdini!" It added a flourish and seemed to crack Lannis' head open to hock a loogie in.

Lannis tilted his head to one side and smacked it, causing the spittle to drain out his ear. "One of us? Well I'd prefer if it was me!"

"No chance, Bubble yum, I'm getting my body back; and some panty waist wizard isn't going to stop me."

"Panty waist?” Lannis looked down at Lannisbone and shook his head, “You just insulted yourself!"

"Exactly!” It preened, “Because I'm awesome, and that's why I'm going back and you're not!"

"We shall see about that!"

"Hey dildo what's that?!" Lannis turns to look but the last sensation he had was the feeling of Lannisbone jumping on his back, and the sound of large cymbals crashing around his ears, before everything went black again.

Meanwhile, outside in the real world, Brendon was throwing bricks and blocks all over (Dig: 1d6+Str. Red 5+4=9 pts), crashing them about like cymbals as they bounced around. “You’re such a fucking pain in the ass,” he grumbled as he revealed more and more of the broken and unmoving Magic User. “Hey. Hey!” he called, “I’ve got him!” He reached down and dragged Lannis out the rest of the way, bringing him to the floor and laying him out. He proceeded to root through his bag, looking for a healing potion.

Wyn meanwhile kept his grip on the Rust Monster, ignoring the slashes and pokes, and shot up higher and higher, passing through the skylight and into the air above the castle itself. “Wheee!”

"Lady Lyra,” Kovid said, kicking at the Rust Monster in front of him, and tossing it his mining pick, hoping to get back far enough. “I have a bad feeling about this! What's going on?!" (Distracted by pick? 1-3. Red/Black 2 – yes!) The insectoid did stop, scent the pick, and then ran its antennae over it, rusting out the head immediately. It then proceeded to suck up the rusted metal, chewing noisily as it ate the pick, one stray eye tracking the dwarf and cleric as they skipped back. Abraxas meanwhile had double timed it, running back to Brendon and the fallen Lannis.

“Errrr, I don’t really have an idea. Let me ask Aine.” Lyra lifted her head high, loading up a stone and spinning it up, “Hey Aine? We have any idea what kind of bullshit this is?” She let it soar (>+4 to hit, +1 bless, White 13), the rock slapping against the eating monster and spoiling its meal (1d3 Damage, White 4:2 Damage!). It squealed in her direction and sucked down another flaking chunk of metal. She glanced at the dead dragon and got a jolt from her holy symbol. “I suggest maybe we keep away from it for now.”

 "SeñorLaziness, noeseltiempoporunasiesta!” Abraxas fired (>+5 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 11), crossbow bolt smacking into the Rust Monster (1d8 Damage, Blue 3, KD? Black 4 – no), making it irate and causing it to start to approach the party again. Chuckling, he reached into his pack and handed Brendon a healing potion, pointing to the wizard. “Arriba, arriba! Bebesesepotion!”

“See?” Brendon asked, tilting the vial down Lannis’ throat, “I could have shanked him but a lawful good person would do exactly what I just did!”

Meanwhile from 50’ above Halgafar’s Castle, Wyn sighted a hard section of the roof and let the Rust Monster he was carrying go, watching it fall, screaming as it did so (5d6 Falling: 6,3,2,2,1: 14 Damage) before it impacted the hard stones and bounced up almost 5’ in height, spinning around, before hitting again and rolling to a stop. It seemed hurt, badly, stunned, and was moving slowly, trying to right itself. “He…he,” Wyn chuckled as he flew back down, passing through the Skylight and reentering the Castle again.

Lannis shuddered (Healing Potion 1d6: Pink 5 – Welcome back to the land of the living – up to 3 hp) and took a short breath before doubling over coughing again, spewing dust and blood, his lungs refilling, the rib bones that had punctured it slid out and the soft tissue closed up again. He waved a hand and looked around with blurry eyes. “Gruuuhwaaah?”

Brendon gave him a clap on the back and held him up in a seated position. “Before you ask me if I took anything of yours,” he said very slowly, “No! No I didn’t, you’re fucking welcome.”

Kovid drank his own potion (Extra Healing 2d6: Yellow 4+6=10, Heal 10!), the dwarf sighing with relief.

Spinning his Crossbow, Abraxas looked over the room and smiled. “Tenemosmastrabajohacer. Andaleamigos!"

Time now is Day 13, 8:29 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 99 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 89 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 79 Minutes

Giant Growth (Kovid): 69 Minutes

Fly (Wyn): 51 Minutes

Bless: 13 Minutes

Slowed (Wyn): 9 Minutes

Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): 6 Minutes

Protection Dragons: 2 Minutes

Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 2 more on the “4’s”

Bottom of Round 6 – 1 Rust Monster badly hurt trapped on roof, other in room, running at the party. You guys go – Last minute before fecal matter strikes oscillation device.

Monday, October 18, 2021

PBEM - Episode 567. Dungeons...and Dragon.

Corfard down! Corfard down! And so is Lannis. But....it's not over yet. So close...but not yet!

Follows:

FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY SEVEN

(I/C)

“Lake..” Wyn asked Brendon, taking out his Corfard Statue, “you… got… Offop?”

The Scout nodded, looking at the Dragon fight and shuddering. He grabbed the first full stones and began clambering up on the pile, throwing and shoving them aside with ease thanks to his enhanced strength. “For someone who claims to be smarter than the rest of us he sure does act and run around like a retard!”

“Oh my Goddess!” Lyra swore, stomping her foot, “Is Lannis dead AGAIN? What is it, the fourth time now?”

“Thor’s balls that hurt!” Kovid rolled to his feet, looking at the new threats and the badly hurt dragon. “Sorry no time for you bugs. We got a dragon to slay.” He lifted his hammer and limped back to the fight, calling out, “Rust Monsters here! Don’t let them touch you!”

“Ahyee!” Abraxas shouted. “I’vegotbellsinmypack!” He went to shrug it off to search when Lyra shook her head and grabbed for it.

“Abraxas, I’ll throw those bells. Give me your bag! Just handle the stupid dragon.” 

Handing the statue to Brendon, the elf flew past the Scout and raced across the room, sweeping to the right to stay clear of the dragon, enunciating very slowly, “Wyn… will…”

“Great,” Brendon smiled, tossing stones aside (Target 10 pts of Str digging: Str digging d6, Red 3+4=7. 3 to go). He could see Lannis’ leg and boot emerging from the dusty, crumbly pile, “At least we’re still protected by the statue.” He dug on.

“Take… care…,” Wyn continued, movement almost a blur as he streaked across the room, arms spread, and HIT the closer Rust Monster (>Grapple check, to hit +4, +1 bless, Orange 10!). It chittered and squeaked on impact, the two of them rolling once before Wyn looked up, and gripped the animal tight (<Str check, Orange 5!! Gotcha!).

“Of… the… rust… monster!” He strained hard and pushed the Fly potion to greater levels, lifting both him AND the rust monster straight up off the ground and heading for the ceiling and busted skylights above (about 20’ off the ground at this point).

Kovid pulled back on his war hammer, cocked it over his shoulder and SWUNG (<+6 to hit, +1 Giant sized, +1 bless, -4 from prone, Yellow 4), but the Theystran weapon cracked against the Wyrm’s scales, drawing sparks, but failing to drop the beast. “Just fucking DIE!”

Lyra found the 2 metal bells and threw them in front of the last charging rust monster heading for Kovid, the pair of them clinging and clanging as they rolled to a stop.

"Mueresmamalapinga! MUERES!!!" Abraxas cried out, Scythe swinging with incredible speed (<+8 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 1 – Fumble!! 1-2 hit self, 3-4 hit friend, 5-6 stunned. Blue 3 –Friend, Lyra!. 1d8+4 Damage, Invulnerable forces random damage to 1: 1+4=5 Damage!) but Corfard back handed the Fighter, and his Scythe finished its swing tearing across the kneeling Cleric’s midsection, causing her the stagger back and gasp in pain.

“Damn it, Abraxas!” Lyra swore.

“Damnyou, Scorecard!” Abraxas swore.

“Damn you both!” The Dragon answered.

Seeing it getting ready to attack, Abraxas screamed wildly, Scythe twirling and dipping and dashing all over, ripping through skin, flesh, and muscle (>+8 to hit, +1 bless, Blue 18), and finding enough deep tissue that the dragon gasped, groaned, and slipped over, blood pouring from the ragged wound (1d8+4 Damage, +d6 striking, Blue 7+4+4=15 and killed!!). And with slow majesty, Corfard fell over, the dragon’s mass making the entire castle shake from his collapse.

“YEAAHH!!!” The group cheered, roaring with glee at the dragon’s demise.

(Initiative Party Steel 4 vs Enemy Red/Black 6)

(Lannis takes 1 pt damage from being crushed – down to -2. Permadead at -5)

The Rust Monster being hoisted by Wyn squealed shrilly in the elf’s face, slashing and tearing with its sharp pointed legs and gnashing with its mandibles (>+4 to hit, +4 grappled, Red/Black 12). Wyn grunted from the attack but dealt with it stoically as he rose higher and higher (1d3 Damage, Red/Black 3:2 – Take 2 Damage!)

The ground based monster ran on to Kovid, stopped to glance at the two bells (1/6 stop and eat them quickly, Red/Black 3 – nope!), but didn’t even slow, wanting the over sized dwarf and his attractive set of magical platemail! He raced right up and HIT, antennae slapping and flashing against the shiny armor (Touch attack, >+4 to hit, Black 14). And it suddenly became covered in a thin layer of reddish rust…but the enchantment on it prevented it from being consumed so swiftly. (Loses its+1, becomes normal platemail, weight goes up from 250 to 500, move to regular equipment)

The group was getting ready to figure out how to deal with menace, Abraxas pulling out a stone dagger. (Lyra, Wis check…<White 11)

The Cleric was taking out her sling when she felt a strange taste in the back of her throat. She looked down and her holy symbol was growing warm, and there was a pounding in the back of her head. “Ugh…” she groaned, holding her temples between her fingertips. “Guys? Something is happening? And Aine is letting me know…She doesn’t like it.”

Time now is Day 13, 8:28 AM

(OOC)

Water Breathing (Abraxas): Expires 7:48 AM on Day 14!!

Giant Strength (Brendon): 100 Minutes

Haste (Abraxas): 90 Minutes

Invulnerability (Lyra): 80 Minutes

Giant Growth (Kovid): 70 Minutes

Fly (Wyn): 52 Minutes

Bless: 14 Minutes

Slowed (Wyn): 10 Minutes

Striking (Abraxas’ Scythe): 7 Minutes

Protection Dragons: 3 Minutes

Continuous Heal (Abraxas): 2 more on the “4’s”

Bottom of Round 5 – Lannis is still buried. Brendon has to dig him out next round and then get a heal in him. Wyn is 20 odd feet off the ground (still in the castle – ceiling is 30’, but can fly through the broken skylights without issue if want) and still holding rust monster. Other monster is attacking Kovid, armor is no longer magical. Lyra has a warning from Aine. You guys go!