There is a friendly rivalry between the character behind Lannis and the one behind Kovid regarding the maps. Typically in our tabletop game, Lannis' player does the mapping, but for this PBEM game, the player behind Kovid is. And since we have the luxury of time, he's been making the map on the computer and fleshing it out with little pictures and symbols. Really having a good time with it. Which is making the other player passively aggressively give him slack over it. But for this incarnation, the player running Brendon didn't understand the map, Arik's overlay, and exactly where we were which led to a 20 count of emails and competing texts that I pretty much lifted verbatim and dropped in here.
Follows:
(I/C)
Wyn pointed down the hall, noting the group was silent. “*ahem* "North? Nord means north, in case dat was unclear."
“Hold the Spell components, Keebler,” Lannis interrupted. He pointed to the closed door with the possible laboratory behind it. "If the room sounds empty and appears to be an Alchemy Lab, I think we should at least look in and see if anything is immediately usable or sabotagable. Couldn't hurt to look right?”
Abraxas was nodding, “Perhaps we should check out este... como dices... Lab?? Si, Lab. If the teleporting Gob is in there, we can take him out. If there is Slee-mei Verde in there…”
“We burn it without delay,” Lannis interrupted.
“Perhaps,” the Fighter shrugged. “Or perhaps we can use it on Corglef. Me gusta go in el Lab. Pero, I will not open el puerto. Señor Korgi, now that you are feeling better, would you like to resume the opening puertos?"
Kovid nodded, moving to the front but giving the door a frown. "I say we leave the door for now. We know gobs are in the general area, and an alchemy lab sounds dangerous.”
“True that,” the wizard agreed, “Can blow your nipples clean off.”
The dwarf laughed, “Let's explore where we want to go to the north. Bedrooms, Throne Room, then possibly the Guardian area to grab the Corfard idol.” He shrugged, “Maybe we'll get lucky and run into that black cat before we seek out Mirabellis."
Lyra adjusted her shield before commenting, "At first I was going to say no to the lab but Abraxas brought up a lovely point. There’s still some unaccounted for slime, isn’t there?”
“Yes, and if we find it we burn it without delay,” Lannis asserted again.
She nodded, “I wouldn’t mind taking a peek - a very very small peek, to see if there’s anything or anyone in there that can be weaponized against us.”
Wyn sighed, “But…Nord? Ugh.” He threw his hands up, “There might be slime above the door frame, or prepared to launch into anyone that goes into the room, which is why it would not be guarded. If we are going into dat unguarded deathtrap, den whoever opens the door should probably put something over them to protect themselves from slime traps." He drew his shield, "If we are going into dat room... hold on a sec." He moved to the back of the party behind Abraxas and motioned, “H’ok. Open it now.”
Brendon looked over Kovid’s shoulder at the map he was working on and the scrawled map that Arik had given us. He pointed to it and said, “The map that was given to us says Garden and Guardians. I know Lannis is always one for saying from the middle of the crew let’s go check it out, but do you all think we’re in any condition to fight guardians? What if the ruckus brings the goblins?”
“What the hell are you going on about, SpongeSlob?” The Magic User asked. “Lab, right here.” He pointed at the door. “Not anywhere else.”
“I know dumbass,” the Scout replied. “Right here, like on the map. If you’re all hyped up on checking out the garden because all of sudden having no spells and Doc not being in his prime is the consensus then I will be the one to open the door and check it out. I’m more agile then li’l man,” he gave the frowning dwarf a quick nudge, “and I’ve looked for slime around doors before. If li’l man we’re to open the door, I’d have to check the room before any of you come in anyway.”
“What in Thor’s Assless Chaps are you going on about?” Kovid exclaimed. “Not the garden. Not the guardians. Here, the Lab.”
“You know, Kovid? I knew you were going to say Thor’s something or something equally profound.”
Taking a slow breath and letting it out, the dwarf answered the Scout, speaking very slowly. “Brendon, I was referring to the Guardians in the north west section of the map. Not surprisingly you assumed the opposite. Exploring the rooms farthest from Corfard’s lair seems wiser to me.”
“That’s not his fault,” Lannis quipped, “I’ve seen your ‘maps’.”
“Hey Mapmaker,” Brendon pointed to the map in Kovid’s hand, “Calm down. I WAS talking about the Guardians in the Garden. Not the north.”
“Nord?” Wyn asked from the back.
“Still non, Senor,” Abraxas answered, getting another sigh from the elf.
“Monsieur du Lac, we still on de EAST side of DIS hallway, so DIS door will go into de goblin area. Not de garden. De garden be in de west side of de hall.” He gave a grin and a wink and added, “Did you not learn how to read a map on dat pirate ship of yours?”
"If he had a map to read I'm sure he'd be fine,” Lannis offered, “Kovid will find one someday I'm sure."
Abraxas raised his hand, “Senor, speaking of fine, I am still waiting for the easy cake you mentioned ahora.”
“Not now, Hogan,” Lannis replied, “One sidetrack at a time, ok?”
“Si. I’ll wait.”
“I might as well be drunk reading this map,” Brendon complained.
“You’re not?”
Drawing his bow, Brendon moved back three paces and pointed at the Lab door with his foot. “Ok Li’l Man, Open that door.”
"I thought everyone hated that idea?” The wizard complained, the majority of the group groaning in agreement. “Weren't we going north? Maybe he is drunk."
Kovid whispered aggressively, “THIS Little Man wants to go NORTH.”
“Arrrgh! Fuck the spices!” Brendon snapped, heading to the intersection. “Let’s go plunder up north.”
“Tank de gods an goddesses,” Wyn exclaimed, skipping his way to the front of the party.
With shaky giggles and quiet steps, the group entered the hall and turned north, making sure to step over Wyn’s marked floor, Kovid’s lantern lighting the way. They walked along, taking the time to map out as they went, searching the floor for any traps and checking the walls for any secret doors or the like. Whatever decorations the elves had adorned the walls with were long gone, leaving only a few twisted bits of metal to indicate where something might have hung or a spar of wood to show where a shelf had once been.
After some distance walking in the relative quiet section of the castle, their footsteps the only thing echoing back at them, their lantern revealed a door on the eastern side of the hall. As they drew closer, they were able to see another door also on the east side, a bit further down, and still the passage continued.
“I don’t like the length of the passage,” Abraxas muttered, “Reminds me of the orc trouble passage wolf thing we had below.”
The party nodded in agreement as Brendon gave each door a once over, listening with care and checking them out. Feeling a bit exposed, the group had their weapons drawn and ready as the Scout made short work of the two portals (<Hear Noise +20, Red 48…no further roll needed). Once done he motioned the group closer and pitching his voice low, let them know what he learned. “Ok, both doors open in and to the right. Neither has a keyhole and aren’t trapped. I nudge both of them but they are turn knobs so I can’t guarantee that there might be a bar behind it unless we actually try to open them.”
“Unnerstood. Anyting else?” Wyn asked.
“First door,” he pointed to the southern most portal, “real muted and distant I thought I could hear the telltale crackle of a hearth fire, but didn’t smell any smoke. If there is a flue, I’m not surprised to not scent anything.” Pointing to the northern of the 2 doors, “That one though,” he still whispered, keeping his voice low, “I could hear some low murmuring, like voices. Three or so? Who knows. Not talking in any discernible language and truthfully it sounded like so much noise. But it’s what I heard.”
“Good job, Brendon,” Kovid replied, also whispering. He fingered the hilt of his Theystran Warhammer and asked, “We going into either of these doors or daring to go further down the hall?”
Time is now Day 6, 3:58 PM
(OOC)
What’s the plan? And for those keeping track, Lannis goes up in 194 xp.
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