This site is an online accumulation of the Post Reports for my current ongoing D&D Campaign - for anyone who might be interested in reading them.

Saturday, November 7, 2020

PBEM - Episode 216. Exploring Caves and Caverns

TWO HUNDRED SIXTEEN

(I/C)

After a few moments of silence, Lannis raised his finger and said, “Dibs on the Horse.”

Brendon however already grabbed the horse and the pig carving, looking them over with a critical eye and a smile. “Looking forward to some farming when this is done.”

“I said, Dibs.”

Meanwhile Wyn was looking over the carvings and picked up the one depicting Hoots. “De Jailer do some good work.” He ran his thumb nail absently across the surface and then popped it in his bag. “I take de owlbear figure... hm doesn’t feel like 5 coin weight, but what does Wyn know. Up de stairs now, oui?

What the hell is ‘dibs’?” Brendon scoffed. Turning to the elf he said, “Once we get up there, I think the chapel should be there he first place we go to. As the Jailer’s wife said once ‘they find out we’ve gone they will swarm everywhere looking for you’. They might even figure out we have 3 keys. If there’s a key in the chapel room let’s get it before it’s made impossible for to get.”

“She was a snake haired harridan whose face could turn you to stone, not the Jailer’s wife.” Lannis held his hand out. “And dibs is what I called meaning I wanted the horse and you took it.”

“For someone who claims to be the smartest here, you are awfully childish,” Brendon noted.

“I don’t think I’ve ever said that.”

“HA!” the entire group laughed, momentarily stunning Lannis.

When he regained his equilibrium, he continued, “And anyway, I’ve been too busy fighting monsters and not betraying my friends.” He glowered at Brendon. “Repeatedly.”

“Dis is a very strange conversation,” Wyn observed.

“Right! You’re very busy with horse jokes, braiding hair, playing board games and tossing rocks at Lyra. Too busy.”

“Don’t drag me into it,” the Cleric said, hands up and backing up a step.

“Left the bit and guide rope at home so can’t drag you anywhere, heifer,” Lannis tossed her direction before turning back to the Scout. “EVERYONE was playing board games and I haven’t braided anyone’s hair.”

“Ohh, Ok then!” Brendon waved his hands in the air and wiggled his fingers. Smirking, he said, “You have the hots for her.”

“Whhahhhahat!!???” Lannis gasped, eyes goggling.

“Admit it. You know there are other ways to flirt than what you are trying.”

“First off, that is disgusting. Disgusting. Bestiality is a horrible thing to partake in. Secondly, horses don’t undersand the finer points of flirting. And third. No, No, No I really don’t.”

“Is that what flirting with your mom is like?” The Scout barked.

“Whoa, hitting below the belt there, Brendon,” Kovid whistled.

“Hey, Numbnuts. That’s my mom,” Lannis’ face was growing red, “Is there something I’m missing here? Do you fuck your mom? Is that it?”

“Nice turn around,” the Scout replied, arms folded. “Too bad we all know you sleep with your mom.”

Abraxas was munching on some dried corn kernels from his bag that had gotten too close to the brazier during the night and resulted in them bursting. “Remember when I was concerned that muy was considered loud?” he shrugged.

“Mad, dat was some good times, eh?” Wyn replied.

“Roommate!” Lannis stomped his foot. “She is my Roommate. And you’re the one who is bringing it up.”

“The two of you, knock it the hell off,” Lyra growled, flicking them both in the ear. “If you two ladies are done pissing in the wind, let’s get the show on the road before Corfard and his goons come down here and stomp the tar out the two of you.”

“What did I do?” Lannis pointed at Brendon, “He started it.”

Brendon took the horse carving and shook his head. “You don’t have to be all grabby. Here, take the horse,” he offered it, the wizard snatching it with ill manners. “I’m sure you’ll regale us more with what you think is funny.”

“You should be so lucky.”

Looking over the room one last time, Kovid took the kitten carving off the shelf, frowned at it, then tossed to the stone and stomped on it. “I hate cats,” he muttered. Walking out he handed Wyn his lantern and said, “Here, Elf. I’ll be in the back away from Blinky and Stupid to make sure we don’t get stabbed in the ass.”

“Which of us is Blinky?” Brendon asked.

“Ugh.”

In the hall, Wyn held the lantern up and motioned the group closer. ““Is dis gonna be a scouting ting? Should Monsieur du Lac en I go up de stairs first? Or do we all proceed togedder? I be good either way.”

“Let’s get there and see what the situation looks like first.” Lyra fingered her flail absently. “I suggest whatever we do, it’s purely recon. We go upstairs to visualize what we have on the map and avoid getting into a fight at all costs. While I’m not entirely out of spells, I’m on the lower end and I assume you two are as well?” She asked, getting a nod from Lannis and Wyn.

“Do we head to de Throne Room first? Or to de Chapel?”

Abraxas looked over Kovid’s shoulder at the map, brows furrowed in thought. "If we head straight to the Chapel, we will pass right by Maraballista's room and quite possibly her gato. Shouldn’t we wrap around the other direction primero? B+B place, Guardians, Throne Room? That's my ideas Señor Wynston.”

“All are good ideas. But we need to get up dere an’ see wot is wat as Lyra suggested.” Wyn tapped the map once with his finger. “Remember dat when we pick up de last key, dere will be some wind blowing or someting else dat will alert tings to our presence. My cousins be pretty stupid bout dat... sex elves be tinking too much bout breezin up dere kilts, I tink.”

“Brown chickens. Brown cows,” Lannis commented.

“We may need to rest before approaching Marasball's room. I would love nothing more than to get to that Chapel, pero we may need to carve some space out of that second floor.” The Fighter sighed deeply and nodded. “Perhaps scouting ahead is a good plan, Señor."

“Hokay den.” He gave Lyra a glance. “Wit’ dat flail, Priestesse, if’n we gets into a fight, I would need you to step up wit’ Abraxas an’ hold de line, si vous plait.”

She gave a weak smile. “Happy to do my part.”

“Den let’s get de show on de road.” He nodded to Brendon. “Monsieur de Lac?”

The party made their way south past the Jailer’s room, walking a bit faster as they had already been through here before but still with their eyes peeled and ears perked. The passage turned after some distance and then turned again, making a “J” shape before opening up to the west and back at the Fungus room they had been at earlier in the day. A look around showed that some of the clay pots had been dumped over and smashed, and a glance south down the passage showed that the Shrieker had been badly clawed across its toadstool top and was wheezing slowly, making a raspy whistling sound.

“I’d say Hoots took his frustration out on the mushroom.” Kovid noted.

(WMC: Red/Black 6 – no)

“Is he down there?”

“Nothing there but the water room and Lolth’s statue dumped on its side.”

Lannis frowned, “I hear that. But you didn’t answer. Is. He. Down. There?”

“No way of knowing,” Brendon shrugged.

“You can always go look?” the Wizards offered.

“And you can piss up a rope,” the Scout retorted. “If he’s there, let his stay there. He doesn’t need or want me to come down there and give him a back rub and an I’m sorry that we killed your stinky friend.” He pointed west to the passage there. “Here’s the plan, Wyn and I will go that way and look around a bit and scout like we said we would and YOU can stand here, not be an ass for 5 minutes, and listen if Hoots is down there and if he is,” he dropped his voice. “You don’t attract the angry and very upset Owlbear. Ok?”

“Sheesh.”

“Let’s go, Du Lac.”

Brendon took out his remaining torch and lit it again and then the two men went down the western passage. The rough cavern stones curved a bit to the south and eventually opened up to a “T” intersection running north and south. (<Hear Noise, +20 bonus, Red 10) The listened and walked briefly down each. To the south could be heard the cricket sounds again, a bit louder as we were most likely closer, and to the north was nothing.

The feeling was the north passage went on for a bit and might open up as the echo coming back had a strange reverb to it, and to the south at the limit of the torch light the passage split, going both east and west from what they could tell. Motioning Brendon back a few paces, Wyn waited for the light to fade before his vision flashed over to Infravision and he could see that the corridor was uniform in temperate in all directions with a steady greenish/yellow coloring to it.

Feeling confident, the two went back to the fungus area and the rest of the party to share what they learned.

Time now is Day 6, 1:51 PM

(OOC)

Ok! Where to?

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