This site is an online accumulation of the Post Reports for my current ongoing D&D Campaign - for anyone who might be interested in reading them.

Thursday, October 29, 2020

PBEM - Episode 205. Fungi, Statue, and Time.

TWO HUNDRED FIVE

(I/C)

Brendon nodded, “Indeed.” He looked up at the statue of Lolth. “So, there’s something in the mouth?”

“Dunno. But it does open.”

“Hmm. I have to get my rope anyway so I’ll go take a look.” He glanced at the large fleshy membranous ball the elf was holding. “Wyn let me say hi to your little fella before we leave.” He tickled the fleshy pale parts sticking through. “Hoos a cute goo ball?!” And it squirmed and rippled in response.

“Wyn, While I’m getting my rope back you should try talking or making some sound to the baby.  Give it a name too.” He shrugged, heading back to the statue’s base and grabbing the rope. “Who knows it might remember your voice later and try to save you, especially if the Jailer uses it against us.”

“I’m interested in that secret in the mouth. I know Lannis said she’s the birth mother of spiders, so with our luck, she is probably holding a baby spider.”

"Ok you get yer rope up dere,” Wyn said, shifting the ball to his other hip and peering inside the invisible bag. “I leave it up to you whether you want to stick yer hand in de monster queen's mouth. I'm gonna watch de movements of dat shrieker. Maybe we cen get passed it quicker if we know how it moves. "

“Sounds…good,” Brendon replied, hoisting himself up the statue’s flank (<Climb w./rope – no roll needed).

As the elf made his way back down the passage, vision popping over to the infravision spectrum, he whispered into the bag. “Hey little one. My name is Wyn. Wyn is glad to meets you. We get you out of here. Don't you worry it be fine. You be with more of yer kind soon. I dont know if dat Trog be de best mommy fer you, but I tink he be caring for Lolth's children more den he cares for others. You be ok. No more being stuck in a statue. Wyn will keep you safe." The figure quivered again but that was about it.

Meanwhile…

Lannis had gathered up loose pebbles and was tossing one at a time at the Cleric’s head, hitting her about half as many times as missing, her expression growing darker and redder with each ‘tik tik tik’ nose of a bouncing stone. "How do you think they're doing?” he wondered. “Haven't heard any yelling yet. Probably saying mean things about me."

“I’m sure it’s going fine. But the time is really passing by.” Kovid strummed his one long braid running down the side of his face and continued, “So to recap, Lannis, you don’t pass Go, you don’t collect 200 crowns... ever.”

“I dunno,” the magic user said, “Mineopoly seems rather weighted in the favor of dwarven players.” He tossed another pebble at Lyra, causing her the mouth the word ‘fuck’ and then scoop up the loose stones around her.

Back again…

The Scout made his way to the top of Lolth again without issue where he braced himself on her shoulder and then leaned over and untied the rope (no roll). Grabbing a few coils of it he flipped it back to the shore and then gave the Statue a critical eye, seeing the section that Wyn had described at her mouth. “Hmm,” he mused, glancing up to look in her eyes. “With all due respect Mi’lady, I hope you understand I have the utmost respect for you and your child. Your eyes are very mesmerizing and reach deep within my soul. I shall not disgrace you by trying to remove the sacred gems.”

He placed the light stone in his mouth and braced it in place behind his teeth with his tongue. By parting his lips he was able to control the light as he leaned over, using Lolth’s nose as a handhold, running his other hand under her chin and feeling around for a release catch as well as any traps (>Find Traps, Red 75). After a few minutes and not finding anything dangerous, he could see how the mouth could be opened by gently pushing the chin down to the statue’s neck.

“Ok,” he mumbled, stone in his mouth, he drew his normal dagger and held it in the hand braced against the face and used his other to force the mouth open. “No spiders, no spiders, no spider,” he murmured. The mouth opened with small difficulty but inside on her tongue was a gold ring. “Nice,” he grunted, sliding the dagger into the opening to prevent the mouth from closing on his hand and then snuck his fingers in and plucked the ring free.

Lifting it up, he could see there were words around the outside of the band. Shedding a bit more light he could tell it read, “May Mother Lolth Protect You From Harm.” In both common and he assumed the elven letters said the same thing.. Pocketing it, he closed her mouth, gave the statue a final nod, and climbed down her flanks (<Climb +5% bonus, Red 10%) to the bottom without any problems.

He coiled the rope up and slid it up his arm. Spitting the light stone out into his free hand, he dried it on his pants and giving the statue one last bow, the Scout made his way down the passage to meet up with Wyn who had been watching the Shrieker the last few minutes. “Success,” he whispered. “Found a ring. Gold.”

“We check it later, might be magic.”

“My thoughts as well,” he pointed ahead, keeping the light down to a slit. “What’s with the mushroom.”

“It hasn’t moved. Still where it was before.” Wyn clicked his tongue. “We can sneak past I tink, but dis ting is gonna make it difficult.”

“Ok, now to get back.” Brendon moved to the front, “You cradle the baby close and keep acclimating to it, while you keep a hand on my shoulder. It’ll help you move slower and make no noise.”

The two of them turned the corner and started making their way north. Brendon did as he did earlier, keeping the stone in his far hand nearest the wall tightly closed and relying on touch and the faintest of flashes to guide his way (<Hide in Shadows, +10% bonus, Purple 33). Wyn was right behind as the two of them approached the slowly heaving Shrieker and made their way past it staying near the wall. The elf was having a rough time with the bag (>Move Silently, Orange 10) and the Shrieker seemed to sense the pair’s presence. It swelled up (1-3 quiet, 4-6 noise, White 1) but outside of a faint whistle, since it didn’t ‘see’ either of them, it didn’t let the alarm go.

Brendon opened and closed his hand alerting the group to their return as they moved east to avoid the yellow fungus. “Hola!” Abraxas called out softly, the Fighter seemingly happy at their return. “Senor Wyndum with you, Breyers?”

“On my 6, Doc.”

“Great,” Lannis said, tossing the handful of stones he had at Lyra where they clattered off her armor with a number of clattering sounds.

In return, Lyra whipped all her stones at Lannis, the wizards hissing as he was peppered with gravel. “What the fuck, Horseface?!”

“I am so close to seeing how far I can shove a club up your ass, Momma’s Boy,” she snarled, face red and eyes wide. “Stop testing my patience.”

“Senor, you are being a grande pollo.”

“She threw rocks at me! Like I’m a sinner in the street. Shame, shame, shame!”

“Just knock it off, Lannis,” Kovid sighed, “Or try to.”

“I never,” he took his water skin out and wet his hand and made a show of wiping his robes clean.

“Never had sex with someone other than your hand or a family member,” Lyra answered, looking at the space next to Brendon where Wyn had opened the mouth of the invisible sack and was removing the ‘visible’ sack and the baby from within. On seeing the membranous cover and pale fleshy thing with the pink stripes as a ball within she exclaimed, “Aine... what the hell is that thing? It’s... is that the baby? Is that thing even ALIVE? Can I see it for a second?”

“Oui, look all you want.” Wyn took a deep sigh. “Ok we did it. Let's get back to de Trog.... why are dere playing cards all over the floor?"

“Cause Senor Lunkhead is a poor player,” Abraxas shrugged.

“You are making jokes during a serious game, spoiling it. How did you think I was supposed to react?”

“I dunno,” the Fighter smiled, “Maybe like an adult?”

Shaking his hand dry, he flipped the Fighter the middle finger and went back to cleaning himself up. "Wow, that's an ugly looking circle, is that the thingy?” he asked. “Do you still have the key?”

“Oui,” Wyn said, taking it out and showing it, the key floating in place before he put it back in his bag.

“Can we please get out of here?” Lannis whined, “This cave sucks. And we're all in agreement that we can't let him have the key? Maybe we can tell him the key disintegrated when you used it?"

The elf took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Do we use my invisibility to make him think that I died and the key disappeared when it was used? Or do we play it straight? I be askin honestly because I had the idea and figured I'd offer it. At dis point I be fine telling Monsieur Stinky da truth just to be done with dis situation and get dat damn flail... but we also may need da key. Maybe he can't touch the key at all and we will find that out? What does everyone tink?

"Anyway... can someone else carry dis baby sack?"

Abraxas set Wyn’s pack and other gear down near where his voice was coming from. “Here are your things Señor Wynston. Perhaps Señor Laafnaas or Señora Litra should carry el niño. They are usually near the middle of the party. We shouldn’t have el niño in the front or back.” He spun his Scythe slowly in thought. “Part of the deal was he gets the key. But perhaps we can negotiate with him, pero pienso he wants the key as a "Fuck You" to Cordarg. Maybe we can offer a greater "Fuck You" to Corghlain in return? Maybe us using the key to get the crown can be spun as a bigger "Fuck You" to Corsflare, than his initial "Fuck You" to Courserd that he planned. And we can always give him the key AFTER we open the vault, yes? As a "Fuck You" trophy to show Cortlarf, should they both survive and leave here. So we can negotiate his exact "Fuck You" he wants to give Corjdan."

“As long as we don’t give him the key, I’ll ignore everything else you said,” Lannis replied.

Nodding at the Magic User, Abraxas answered, “Fuck You!” Making the entire party sort of stop and stare at him before he blushed and chuckled, “... I mean, what? Lo siento, creo I got myself stuck in a loop."

"It's fine,” Lannis waved his hand absently, “ I don't even remember what I was saying but that was probably a reasonable response.” He reached behind and played with the bottom of his mullet braid. “I'm still thinking maybe we try to spin it that the key is gone. I'm not sure. We need the key, he doesn't want to let us keep it. Lying might piss him off enough to try to take the key. Can we play “ding ding” with the purple circle? The key is more important than the flail."

Not sure what the baby thing was after looking it over, Lyra shook her head, “Obviously we don’t really want to give him the key... but do we really want to give him THIS either?” she pointed at the slightly squirming figure, “What if it’s something dangerous or he’s just going to eat it?”

“It’s always about food with you,” Lannis frowned, dousing his hand one last time from his water skin and then throwing a handful of water in her direction disparagingly.

In reply, the Cleric whipped her club off her belt, stepped forward and swung it full force at the Magic User, just missing but making his stumble back on the tail of his robes and fall, Brendon keeping him from hitting the ground. “Next time it’s your face.”

“Wow, someone is riding the Crimson Pony today,” Lannis answered, dusting his robe clean. “Thanks, my man.”

“You got it,” Brendon smiled. “I think you should lay off a tiny bit.”

“It’s not me, I swear. She is just unhinged. Type of person to needlessly torture someone who lives in the same building at her for imagined slights and making it her life’s mission destroy her: body, mind, and soul.”

“Whatever, I’ll speak at your funeral,” The Scout made his way to the front of the group. “We going?”

Lyra hoisted the sack with the baby in it, staggering a bit under its weight, before Kovid took it from her, the dwarf much stronger and sure footed. “I’ve got it,” he muttered.

“Thanks,” she replied. (WMC: Red/Black 6 – none!)

The party then left the fungus area behind and headed back the way they came, going to the Jailer thinking hard about what they were going to say and how they were going to sell the situation. As they rounded the corner and were heading north, they could see in the shadowy section of the cut out the Troglodyte was standing there with his ever large grin on his face, and in the gloom behind him, the menacing figure of the Owlbear, Hoots, taking up the entrance.

Time now is Day 6, 12:05 PM

(OOC)

Wyn: you have 35 minutes left of invisibility.

XP: 2 Rooms: 30 each, Everyone add 60 xp.

“Defeat” Shrieker: 120 xp divided, Yellow fungus 75 xp divided.

Wyn, Brendon: Add 113 xp each

Kovid add 93 xp

Lyra, Lannis, Abraxas add 92 xp each

There is a gold ring from Lolth on Brendon’s belongings right now (Lolth gold ring [1]), can discuss later.

Kovid is carrying the bundle. Wyn currently has Lolth Key [2].

Jailer is there, Hoots blocking the area behind him so no way of knowing if anything else is also back there. Let me know what is to be said and sort of what the plans are.

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